Mental Health Perceptions- Part 1

I was totally going to post something more light-hearted today about my “many forms of therapy.” I’ll definitely post about that later, however, the seriousness of mental health problems and the way these issues are so often dealt with often weigh heavy on my heart and mind.

From my own experiences in life, it seems as though mental health disorders are treated by many (not by all) as one or more of the following:

not real, all in someone’s head
not an illness or not having a physical/physiological cause
indication of having a spiritual problem

Not real/all in someone’s head

I’m sure I’m leaving out some points, but the thoughts listed above came to mind first. Why would the average person say that they had a mental illness? They know stating this could possibly cause others to label them with all sort of hurtful words. They know it could cause some ostracism. Yet, they admit they have a mental health problem. (This is not referring to someone who might claim a mental health illness to receive financial compensation or to “get off the hook” for a crime, but just the average person.) Why would they admit to a mental health illness? Probably because they have one.

On the other end of the spectrum, some individuals with a mental illness may never admit to or discuss it for the very same reasons-ostracism, labels, avoiding negative reactions from others.

I’d rather take someone seriously about this issue than not, and have a tragedy occur. I would rather believe them and offer support or point them in the right direction for help, than to disregard a mental health issue. I would hope those I know would feel comfortable knowing they could come to me to discuss mental health without negative reactions.

If a mental illness was a different form of illness, how would it be treated? If, for example, someone stated that they had an ongoing heart condition and weren’t feeling well, that person would be taken seriously by most. They would be offered medical assistance/support. Prescribed medicine, sympathized with, helped, comforted. They would not be given labels. They would be taken seriously. So why the difference?

To me, Christians, should be the first on the list at offering support and love regardless of the illness. This isn’t always the case. (Again, not saying this goes for all.) We aren’t called to judge or determine what is “real,” we are called to love, regardless. To be like Christ, we should care and extend love and grace.

Some groups of people are excellent at providing this type of support and others, not so much. I pray I’m always one to offer support, love and help, judgement free to those I know who are struggling in this way. This world can be harsh, hard, and cold. To me, those who have an illness of any sort need extra compassion and kindness shown to them on the regular. I hope to sow the qualities St. Francis so beautifully described: love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy. You just never know if the kindness you extend is exactly what someone needs at a certain moment in time.

I plan to most more on this soon! Hope your day is blessed. 💕

Your friend,

Tiffany

Personality, Purpose, and “More”

I love studying personality types. I know there are a variety of personality typing systems- MBTI, DISC, Enneagram- but my favorite is probably MBTI. I know this topic is soooo boring to some, but I find it truly fascinating especially because I have legitimately seen my personality type shift over the years. I was always an ISFJ (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judge)…like every time I took the test. (I know, I know some of you may be thinking why in the world would you take tests like that, but I enjoy understanding humans- myself and others- what can I say?) So autism enters my life and my “J” quickly became a “P.” My “S” became more “N.” I will always be an Introvert (think 90%) and a Feeler (about 85%)…but my personality type is INFP now. My point in saying all this is to say life circumstances really can change you. I don’t stress now if plans change! 😂 I almost expect them to.

I totally planned to post recently but with things being a little chaotic at home lately, I haven’t had the chance. Unfortunately I succumbed to the stomach virus which lasted several days. 🥴🥴🥴 If I have learned anything in this life, especially since my son with autism has been in our lives it is the following

~Go with the flow

When things change, I just adapt and go with it. I don’t stress about the change. I just ride the waves of life now. Enter “perceiver” component of my personality and goodbye “judger/planner/organizer.”

~Take one day at a time.

Now I rarely plan beyond a day or two. I mean I might tentatively plan things, but I am fully aware of the very real possibility of a long term plan changing so I’m ready for it! I’m totally ready for plans to change in a moment! 😂

~Have faith in the future and what I can’t see.

I guess before autism entered my world I relied more on myself and life was honestly pretty perfect or I guess I should say pretty perfect in the “normal” sense. But when something enters your life that you have no power to change, to control, sometimes to even understand, you have to rely on what you can’t see. You have to trust that an unseen God is truly omniscient (all knowing) omnipotent (all powerful) omnipresent (present everywhere) and has a plan and purpose for the difficult circumstances that enter our life. I have to believe and dream and just know there is purpose in everything I face. I totally believe in this universe and beyond in the future in all that isn’t seen in the here in now, there is a much larger plan at work! So enter “Intuitive” or N into my personality type. 😊

I read the following today, and I wanted to share it with you. It’s an excerpt from Brian Houston’s “There is More.”

Today’s Scripture (Ephesians 3:14-21) is the same as on Day 1 because the promise that is embedded within this passage is so important in daily causing us to lift our eyes higher and dream bigger and go deeper into the unending capacity of the one who saved us and set us free.

No matter what you have experienced or are experiencing, I want to declare to you…

On the other side of this triumph, there is more.

On the other side of that failure, there is more.

On the other side of this sickness, there is more.

On the other side of your mountain, there is more.

On the other side of this heartache, there is more.

On the other side of this earth, there is so much more.

Nothing gets lost. If you feel unsure or unsteady, lost or overlooked, or you simply need to be reminded again, let me be the one to do that. He sees you. He knows you—better than you could know yourself—and He waits with open arms, available with anything you need. Today, let me assure you that you are adopted into the family of God and an heir to an unending throne and an inheritance that will outlast space and time. Your portion is exceedingly, abundantly above anything you can think, ask, or imagine.

So here’s the challenge. Live with expectancy. Steep yourself in His promises and travel the road of obedience to Christ with your eyes wide open to every facet of His faithfulness. Make more room for others, make more space for God, and watch Him make more of your dreams—the ones you dared to pray and the ones you never have—come to life.

Thank you for the privilege of speaking into your life these past five days. I pray that as you go on from here you will feel encouraged and victorious. That you will be more aware of God’s deep love for you and the adventure that is life with Christ. There is immeasurable potential within—plans and purposes beyond your wildest dreams. There is more.

Today, how are you going to make room for God’s more in your life?

Obviously one personality type is not better than the other. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and always grow and change. Hopefully we grow and change for the better. Be gentle with yourself as you grow. Remember God totally understands that we are human and imperfect and that we live in a very imperfect world full of viruses and even disabilities. However never lose sight of the fact that there is a much bigger plan at work. We are just a tiny part of the gigantic puzzle that will all make sense one day. If we go missing even as a seemingly tiny insignificant piece, the puzzle won’t be complete.

In this sometimes crazy world you are needed and seen…whatever your personality type, no matter your life’s circumstance. There is more. Blessings today and every day.

Your friend,

Tiffany

My January Tree

I posted a few days ago about ”The Year-Round Christmas Club” and just wanted to share my “January” tree. We have had a number of viruses spread through our house since November. That combined with seemingly unending ”gray days” along with the reminder to be a light for Jesus, nudged me into keeping my tree up all year! 😊 In February I’ll post my Valentine tree ❤️❤️❤️🥰.

Your friend,

Tiffany

The Year-Round Christmas Club

We’ve had a bit of drama around our house lately. Okay if I’m honest, it’s pretty much always a circus, but a few days ago the stomach virus hit some family members. 😳 If you know me well at all, you know I despise a stomach virus, even more than the coronavirus. (Yes, I know Covid is potentially more serious, but I truly think I’m going to pass away every time I throw up.)

I didn’t get sick yet, so far it has only hit my husband and my oldest son, but meanwhile I’m suited up complete with a mask and disinfecting everything!

So while I’m disinfecting, cleaning, and putting away Christmas decorations to get my mind off the stomach virus particles floating in the air, I thought about how I hate taking down the Christmas tree. It’s just so warm and inviting and the living room feels so stark and empty when it’s gone. Then I contemplated keeping it up all year.

I’ve never considered myself to be a year-round Christmas person. No offense to anyone who is a member of the year-round Christmas club, I’ve just never been one of those people.😂 In fact, every year the holiday season usually propels me to a level of stress that is unmatched the rest of the year. Yes-it is usually because I’ve gotten wrapped in the activities that have nothing to do with Jesus’ birthday🤦‍♀️-but the pressure is a reality nonetheless.

Anyway, so I’m taking down the ornaments, the ribbons, the wreaths, and I kept thinking about the Christmas tree and still couldn’t push away the thought of leaving it up. I began to wonder about the origins of the Christmas tree and came across some neat historical info. One historical account stood out to me the most and I wanted to share it:

It is believed that the first known Christmas tree that was brought inside and decorated was during the 16th century by a man called Martin Luther. It was said that on his walk home, he saw the stars through the evergreen trees and went home to tell his children that it reminded of him of Jesus. He later wrote a sermon about the experience for his church, leading to the spread of people decorating the trees with candles as a symbol of letting Jesus into their homes. In modern terms, the meaning of a Christmas tree is that the Christmas tree represents Jesus and the light he brings to the world, for Christians. (excerpt from What Does the Christmas Tree Represent, Christmasphere)

After I read the above, I decided. I knew I had to leave the tree up. I need the visual reminder, you know? Not only as a reminder of Jesus and the Holy Spirit’s presence every day in my life, but as an admonition to be a light for Him. This world is full of a lot of darkness at times. However, each word and act of love and kindness-every time we are Jesus’ hands and feet to a hurting world- we are shining His light.

So in the middle of the crazy, circus, stomach-virus-filled house, I became a year-round Christmas person! I guess the other members of this club realized something I didn’t for so long. Every day is a chance to shine the light of Christmas. I pray I always remember this nugget of truth, each day, of the coming New Year. Friends, I pray you remember always you are a light, too! Shine for Him, always.(P.S. I’ll post updates of my Christmas tree throughout the year.😊 Most of the decorating ideas will probably be from Pinterest.🥰)

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Christmas Eve Adventure 😊

So I’m currently in a bit of a predicament. My son with autism was having a meltdown and I decided to take him for a ride in the van, which is one of his favorite things to do. When I cranked the van, I noticed it was getting a little low on gas so I decided to go fill up. I arrived at the gas station and wait in a long line to get gas, and finally pull up to the pump. Unfortunately, they the pump was on the passenger side of the van and the side to fill up the gas tank is on the driver’s side. (I knew this when I pulled up, however I still had to back in several times so the pump would reach. 🤦‍♀️😂) Finally, I was able to position the van to reach the pump. So I filled up the tank, put the nozzle back and got back in the van. I put the keys in the ignition to crank the van and all I hear is “tick tick tick tick.” 🤦‍♀️ I tried to crank it again with the same results.

It’s dead. At the pump. With a long line of people waiting to fill their vehicles. I’m stuck….with my autistic son who is now ready to ”go bye-bye” and is starting to get worked up. So, I call my husband and explain what has happened and begin to tell the people in the next few cars behind me that my van has died at the gas pump on Christmas Eve.

As I’m sitting waiting for my husband to get there, Landon starts getting really antsy to leave and this turns into a full blown temper tantrum, autism rage activated scenario.🙃

If Landon teaches me anything, it is thankfulness and to appreciate the good in any circumstance. So I begin to think of the inconvenience, stress, and other emotions many people may be experiencing on Christmas Eve.

It can be a tough season to get through for so many. I would imagine it was pretty tough day for Mary, Jesus’ mother. I find it comforting to know that others who came before us faced inconveniences, struggles, and frustrations, too. I love how Jesus never minimizes what we are going through. He compassionately and completely understands especially in the light of our humanity. Of course he doesn’t want us going around lashing out at others or justifying our bad behaviors because of a difficult circumstance, but he recognizes our efforts to please Him even if we fall short. He sees our heart.

As I was pondering all these things, my husband arrives at the gas station, figured out the battery was dead, and jump started the van for me. We drove away to a nearby parking lot and he gave me his car keys and helped me load our very distraught autistic son into the car.

As my husband got back into the van to drive to get a new battery, I felt extremely blessed. Even though my head was pounding from sitting in the van with a screaming child for about twenty minutes, I knew God was still in control. Despite the unpredictable inconvenience, Landon and I were safe, taken care of, and loved on Christmas Eve. I’m glad in those stressful moments I chose to focus on Jesus and not myself. After all, it is the time to celebrate (our Savior’s birthday), not to complain about something trivial going wrong. I held onto those thoughts long into the evening as “Santa” came to our home and my headache ballooned into a migraine. Yes. I chose thankfulness despite the option to complain.

I can’t say I always do this….sometimes my imperfection shows.

I’m so thankful God showers us with extra grace and love in the inconveniences life presents. Sometimes I think it is simply to remind us that He is there, always. He came to Earth as a tiny baby just so He could live among us and eventually die for us. That is love at its truest. That True Love watches over us in every circumstance. Even when our car dies at the gas pump on Christmas Eve.

Blessings to you and your family during this Christmas Season.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Peace In The Waiting

I really enjoy reading devotions. The 5-day devotion plan I’m reading now is about peace (Missing Peace, YouVersion Bible). The following was today’s devotion about experiencing peace in the waiting. I know this is so hard for me to do! I have to remember that God is with me in the waiting. I pray that you experience His presence if you are in a season of waiting, too.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Peace in the Waiting

Yesterday, we talked about finding peace in the promises of God, but it’s even more difficult when you’re in the middle of waiting on God. We’ve all been in those seasons where it seems like God is showing up for everyone but you. Maybe you don’t have that job yet. Maybe you would like to be married, but your prospects seem slimmer than ever. Or maybe you’re waiting on a child while it seems like there are pregnancy announcements every day.

Whatever you’re waiting on, know that God has not forgotten you. He is with you in the waiting. In fact, Advent and the Christmas season are built on waiting—waiting for the Prince of Peace to enter the world and rescue all humanity from sin.

Can you imagine how long that wait must have felt? Approximately 750 years passed between the writing of the prophecy about Jesus in Isaiah 9:6 and the birth of Jesus. For centuries, people waited, uncertain when (or whether) God would actually deliver on His promises. Then He sent His Son, Jesus!

And now? We no longer have to wait for the fulfillment of our peace. Yet we still wait for His second coming, looking forward to the day when our God will make all wrongs right.

So, in our broken world, we experience seasons of waiting. But we know that our waiting seasons are not wasted seasons. As much as we might wish to skip forward to the fulfillment of what we hope for, it’s in the middle of our waiting that we realize who we worship.

Ask yourself: Am I more concerned about getting the thing I want than getting to know God?

It’s a tough question, but it’s a worthy one to ask because it reveals who or what we worship.

Now, here’s the thing: It’s okay to get frustrated and to cry out to God when you don’t understand His timing. In fact, He welcomes that. But our season of waiting isn’t just about getting the things we hope for. It’s about putting our hope and our trust in God.

So maybe you can reframe your waiting season. Instead of focusing on the waiting, shift your thoughts to remembering—remembering who God is, all that He has already done, and what you know to be true about His character.

If you’re struggling to find peace while you’re waiting, know this:

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.Psalm 37:23-24 NLT

God is directing your story, and every detail matters to Him. He is holding you up when things get hard. And He delights in you.

Don’t rush through the waiting process. Instead, find peace in the process by taking the time to pause and discover what God is teaching you. So, today, reflect on these questions as you wait:

God, what are You showing me in this waiting?
How might I reclaim this waiting period for Your glory and the good of others?

Right Here

As I was going for a walk today, the song Right Here by Jeremy Camp, came to mind. I haven’t heard that particular song in a long time, so when it came to mind like that, I felt like I should share it.

No matter how you might feel, the truth is you are never alone. God’s presence is always with you. Think on that if you are facing difficult circumstances. No matter what goes on in our lives, He is always there. The problems we face do not scare Him away.

Your friend,

Tiffany

All the world is Watching
All the world does care
Even when the world weighs on my shoulder now,
These feelings I can bare
Because I know,
That you’re here, Everywhere I go,
I know you’re not far away,
You’re right here
You’re right here, yeah All these thoughts I’ve wasted,
All these thoughts I fear,
Even when these thoughts have faded,
I still know that you’re here,
So I can rest my hope in you Many of times that I have felt alone,
Many of times that I have felt the world was crashing down upon me,
You always stood here by my side,
You were always thereEverywhere I go,
I know your not far away,
You’re right here
You’re right here, yeah

Missing Peace

I can’t take credit for today’s blog title. 😊 It was the title of my daily devotion on YouVersion Bible App. As you might imagine, the devotion was about peace and how it is so often missing.

The thought came to my mind as I was reading that we can never create our own peace. Even if we seem to be able to, the time of peace is fleeting. The hour long relaxing bubble bath, the week long beach vacation, an 8 hour uninterrupted night’s rest, etc.

So how do we experience full-time peace? By continually fixing our minds on something (or someone😊) other than our circumstances. That someone is Heavenly and we are currently in the season of celebrating His appearance on Earth as a baby. Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-8 (Amplified Bible)

6 Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. 7 And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].

Reality moment here. Every single Christmas season, I get majorly stressed out. I’ve got to attend this Christmas party, or that Christmas gathering. I have to bake, decorate, shop, wrap presents, on top of the regular day to day activities. It. Is. Always. Too. Much.

Now before you quit reading and assume I am The Grinch, Scrooge, or another similar character, I will assure you that I am not. 😊 Why do I get stressed to that point every year? It is not because I don’t enjoy Christmas parties or Christmas shopping or wrapping presents. It is because I become completely absorbed in nothing else.

I don’t spend enough time with Jesus. The One who the season is for. The Reason we even have Christmas. Oops. I’m sure I’m not the only one. 😊 I’m not saying all this to heap guilt on my self or anyone else, but simply to point out the way back to peace. True Peace.

True Peace is never found in our circumstances but in our One True Friend. Only when we make time for His presence and fix our thoughts and minds on Him, will we experience lasting peace. All the ”stuff” and material possessions fade and fluctuate, but True Peace is found in a person, Our Savior. It is only when we make time for Him in our hearts and minds that we experience true, lasting, non-fluctuating peace.

Peace is connected to trust. I’ll admit it. I have a hard time believing in and trusting certain people, and trusting situations life presents to me. But if I’m honest, when I don’t fully trust and give the situation over to God, I don’t experience peace. So without trust, we won’t have peace.

Life constantly bombards us with chaotic scenarios which destroy peace pretty quickly. At least it feels that way to me. What should we do when we life presents less than peaceful circumstances? We should try and harness the worrisome and anxious thoughts and focus our minds back to God and His very real presence in our lives. Yes, it is much easier to do this on some days than it is on others but the effort is probably needed more on the hard days! We have to remember that we live in an imperfect world. We are going to experience anxiety, stress, and less than peaceful thoughts. However putting forth the effort in focusing our minds back to the Holy Spirit’s presence in our lives will be worth it! Peace that results is far greater than we can understand or imagine.

Isaiah 26:3

“You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character],
Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]

I definitely have some work to do in this area. However, for me, just sitting and writing this connects my heart to the Lord’s and helps me to focus, trust, and believe Him for the peace that only He can give! Peace that passes all my human understanding!

I’m praying for you today, friend. Especially if you are stressed out, frazzled, burned out and feel anything but peace. I pray you will be able to spend some time in the Lord’s presence and experience peace as you focus on Him today. He loves you and wants nothing more than to spend time with you and fill your mind with His peace.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Goldendoodle Greetings

I was feeling kinda brave today. By that I mean I took both my 10-week-old goldendoodle puppy and my 8-year-old autistic son for a walk….at the same time. Both wore the appropriate harness and were completely secured during our walk, but it was still an adventure nonetheless! Landon and Asher both got their leashes tangled around each other several times, but it was a fun adventure. 😊 (By the way, Landon wears a specially made autism harness when we walk because a couple of months ago he ran out in front of a car when we were walking. We thank the Lord he was not hurt.)

Today while we were walking, the joy that Asher (the puppy) has brought into our lives really struck me. On our walk for example, he ran up to each person we encountered with such happy enthusiasm, they couldn’t help but respond joyfully. It is honestly such a precious thing to witness…seeing Asher bring a smile to neighbor’s faces. His joy is truly contagious and he shares it with everyone…not just us, his family.

We can all learn so much from Asher. To joyfully greet others, to be interested in them, to simply love them without expectation. I can truly say Goldendoodles are everything I thought they would be and then some! I’m so thankful for the blessing of Asher and all I am learning from him!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Cup of Tea

I shared this post in May, but thought it was worth sharing again. Don’t worry about those who don’t “get you” or understand you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made as you are and never meant to be liked by all. Smile and move on. 😊

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16, KJV).”

I ran across this “cup of tea” quote on my Facebook memories today. Such truth and wisdom in those words. When we realize not everyone will “like us” or are even meant to, it can be very freeing.

This quote inspired me to think a little deeper today, however. It made me think about how we don’t even have to have the “right people” to love us to have value. We are fully and immensely loved just as we are. We need to love ourselves as God loves us.

I forget that sometimes. Not that I don’t realize God loves me, but at times I get so busy taking care of and encouraging others that I forget to whisper to myself “hey you are loved, too, and you are doing an amazing job.”

I love words. I’m a words of affirmation person all day, every day. Nothing is quite like a sweet note, card, or inspiring story poem, or scripture to me. But I sometimes forget to let it sink all the way into my heart and remind myself of the encouragement when I need to. God never forgets to encourage us though. We just have to listen for His sweet whisper and even speak those words of encouragement over ourselves when we feel we can’t hear them. We don’t have to wait for someone else to do that for us. Whether we have wonderfully encouraging people in our lives or not, God is constantly there reminding us of His love for us in scripture and in prayer.

So my takeaway from this cup of tea quote today is:

Encourage and love yourself the way God does whether or not you have an encouraging tribe of people in your corner. Be other people’s cheerleader, but don’t forget to be your own also. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved because none of us are. Never ever forget you are cherished and loved just as you are.

Your friend,

Tiffany