Author: Tiffany Guy

I'm a wife and mother of three amazing children. As a mother of a child with autism, my faith has been tested and grown through the trials of disability. It became my hope and prayer to encourage others with stories and scriptures, thus, You've Got A Friend was created!

The Gift of Speech

I’ve been busy writing lately…just not blogging. 😊Most of my writing lately is in the form of speech therapy notes, but I love it and am thankful to give in this way.

“Early Intervention may be one of the most positive experiences that parents of children with disabilities will encounter.”

I was completing some continuing education a couple of months ago and I read the quote above in a research article. It is one of the main reasons I am thankful to be a speech therapist (part-time) in early intervention. I love helping kids with special needs and their families. That and because I know first hand what it is like to have a child with a disability.

Today, I was able to experience hearing a child say one of their very first words! I also heard from another mom today that their child is using some sign language and saying 2-3 words now. Both of these kids were not speaking when I first saw them. I am absolutely not taking all the credit for this…the majority of the credit goes to the parents and caregivers who work with their baby every day. I give them some suggestions on things to try and they put it into practice.  Experiencing the excitement the family feels when their baby begins to talk, despite a delay or disability, is such a gift. It is a blessing to be a part of that process. It’s something I would probably never have experienced if not for having a child with a disability myself. God works all things together for good. I’m thankful for that. ❤️ If you’re in the middle of a really hard season of life and things don’t make sense right now, just hang on and trust God to use it for good in your life. He won’t let you down.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Compassion For Animals

Today, my goldendoodle is having surgery. I am trying not to worry, but it is super hard. My dog is my faithful friend. (Yes, I am totally a dog person.😊) For me, my dog is just good for my heart! No matter how hard life gets, Asher just waits for me to get home so he can shower me with love. ❤️ I wish I was ignorant to the way some treat their animals, but unfortunately we live in a fallen world. As I am thinking about my pup, I found some quotes to share. In reading them, I was reminded about God’s care for all of his creation including animals.

Your friend,

Tiffany

“When I look into the eyes of an

animal, I do not see an animal. I

see a living being. I see a friend. I

feel a soul.”

A.D. Williams

A good dog often has a better character than some people.

~ Tiffany Guy

Right Where God Meant For You To Be

2022…wow. For me it was filled with extremes. There were some truly pain-filled moments…like super painful. Yet, there were some unbelievably amazing, “God, I can’t believe this is happening” experiences. All took place in 2022. I honestly would have been fine with 2022 being more smooth sailing, calm, and even boring, but God had other plans. So, no, I really would not want to repeat this year! 😂 However, I am humbled and amazed at how God allowed the pain to bring about some truly good things. 

Sometimes it takes being hurt and completely dependent on God to make new decisions and choices that open doors to some of the best things. 

Even if a painful situation happens to be caused by another’s poor choices and behavior, God will cause all things to work together for our good if we trust Him. 

I know how hard it can be to walk by faith.  Hopefully, 2022 taught me how to become a little better at that. 😊

The things that hurt this year:

-harsh words and actions of others

-realizing those who you thought were your friends, weren’t 

The things that healed this year:

  • my part-time job as a speech therapist in early intervention
  • learning that others actions are a reflection of who they are and that those actions have nothing to do with me as a person
  • Watching God, situations, medicine, and better choices truly change someone for the better, even when it seemed hopeless to me.

Whether you are hurting, healing, or hunky-dory, I pray you are able to sense God’s very real presence in your life in 2023. He is the only one who has truly been with you through it all- the good, the bad, and the in between. He’s led you right to where you are. Others may say they love you, but Jesus loves you much, much more. There is no end to the depth of His love and it won’t let you down. Jesus is a faithful friend who won’t fail you even when you have no idea how things will work out. Trust Him. Walk by faith even if it isn’t easy in 2023. God can and will work things out for good for you if you hang on, persevere, and keep pushing forward. You’ll be a stronger, better you as a result. May you always know that where you are is right where God meant for you to be at this time. 

Never forget you can and will do all things through Christ who strengthens you. 

I pray your cup overflows with blessings and Jesus’ love surrounds you today and every day of the new year. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Christmas Peace

“I’m so excited to finally be on Christmas Break!”

“I just love the holidays and hate when it’s all over.”

“Christmas is my favorite holiday!”

I’ve  heard several of the above statements recently.  Do you agree with these? Is Christmas a beautiful, enjoyable, restful break time for you? Is it a time where you pause and think of the true meaning of Christmas? Maybe it’s a happy, yet hectic time for you made up of fun events and holiday activities?  Is it a time that is busy and beautiful, yet deep down feels lonely and empty to you? This season can be any of the above. What is to you?

This year, for me, this season has been different than usual. I’ve experienced some beautiful moments, but faced some very sombering ones too. My husband faced some health issues recently which prompted a couple of trips to the ER. Those experiences and the need to try to prevent him from having any additional stress have added more to my plate. I usually get a little stressed anyway with all the shopping, events, and in general as a parent of a special needs child. I try to counter the stress by preparing in advance to have the presents bought, wrapped, ready. I try to have the holiday food menu planned, prepared ahead of time and the house deep cleaned before my son is out of school for the holidays.

There is no “holiday break” for me. Once Landon is home, it’s pretty much full time caregiving for the next three weeks until he returns to school. I truly do try to maintain a positive outlook even in the hectic times. I usually tell myself if I could survive five months of Covid pandemic when school shut down, I can survive anything. Sometimes though, my humanity reveals itself. My husband’s recent health issues added to day to day life and Christmas chaos and wham…the stress hit me pretty hard. 

Then one day I heard a teacher say “I’m so happy I’m on Christmas break. Now I get to relax.” 

I immediately felt a sense of envy. I said to myself “must be nice, wonder what that’s like.” In that moment, I really wished for “a Christmas break.”

It was a momentary thought that left me feeling sad. I typically am not one to have a pity party, however, I truly longed for a break. Overwhelmed is an understatement for what I was feeling. I was exhausted.

I found myself saying “God, it’s not fair. Why can’t I have a break too?” 

As I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit gently whisper, “go ahead, lie down, rest.”

So I listened. 

It was the day before my son was out for Christmas holidays so I took advantage of the opportunity. I hopped up on to my extra soft bed, climbed under several blankets and closed my eyes. After a few minutes, my goldendoodle-Asher-who is my shadow- peeked over the edge of my bed and decided he needed to join me. He jumped right up onto my bed and parked himself beside me- his cream colored fur blending in with the heavy fleece blankets and quilts of the same color. Asher watched me with his knowing, brown eyes. He seemed to know I needed a break from the stress. He also seemed to know I needed a little lift and his joyful presence would do the trick. He was right. Asher just “gets me” what can I say. As I was looking at Asher piled in with me among the blankets, I felt peace slowly fill me. 

In that moment, I felt God gently remind me that peace is one of the many reasons why He sent Jesus to us as a little baby many, many Christmases ago. In that moment, He reminded me His gift of peace is because of His immeasurable love for me and for you. 

It’s because of His love that we can have rest and peace. 

It’s because of His love that we can experience His comfort.

It’s because of His love that we are inspired to share love with others.

I don’t know what you are facing this Christmas. Maybe things are going well for you or maybe they are not. Whatever the case is, I pray you are able to rest even if it is only for a short time. I pray that as you do, God’s presence will fill your heart and mind with His peace. I pray you will experience his comfort and joy. I pray His love surrounds you and fills your heart to overflowing. As your heart is filled with these things, I pray you are inspired to share His love with all those around you. May you always know you are loved immeasurably by the Savior of the world who came to Earth as a tiny baby at Christmas.

May God bless each of you, friends, at Christmastime and always.

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. ( 2 Thessalonians 3:16)

Your friend,

Tiffany

Hidden Gifts

Matthew 25:14-29

14 For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servantand entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

Recently, my daughter received a new-to-her armoire. Before we could put the new piece of furniture in her room, the old chest of drawers had to be removed. As I was going through the overflowing drawers, I uncovered a couple of interesting items among the clothes- three old checks and a very full piggy bank. 

I immediately asked my daughter why she had not cashed the checks. She simply said “I forgot they were there.” (I don’t typically forget to deposit or cash a check if someone gives me one! 😂) Of course, my response was for us to go to the bank and try to cash or deposit the checks. When we arrived at the bank, walked inside and up to the teller, we asked about the checks. We were politely told that they could not deposit or cash checks which were more than six months old. So, the checks were now worthless. What had been valuable, had been stored and forgotten about and as a result was now worthless. Thankfully the checks were not written for large amounts, however, I hope my daughter learned something important that day. Needless to say we counted the money in her piggy bank and deposited a pretty substantial amount into her savings.

Back in August, I began a new part-time job. God opened doors and honestly led me to the job I have now working with babies in early intervention. I serve families and their precious little ones who have speech/language delays…some as result of a disability. I wouldn’t say I carelessly buried my ability for all these years- as I was raising and even homeschooling my children- but my speech pathology degree wasn’t exactly being used either.

Hidden gifts, forgotten treasure, buried talents. 

As I have been working, scheduling my time has become a must! I have the largest planner one can buy, and I write all my appointments down. With a husband, three kids, 2 dogs, and a part time job, life can get pretty busy! 

Recently, God gently reminded me to add a few more things to my schedule- setting aside time for regularly reading my Bible and getting back to the gym. He prompted me to actually write down the times in my planner like I would any other appointment. While I had been fairly consistent with my devotion time with God, my workout time had been pretty much non-existent until recently. While I’m in fairly good health, my 43-year-old metabolism is not what it was 20 years ago and I definitely need to lose some weight. 

How does any of this relate or matter? It all has to do with being a good steward of what the Lord entrusts us with. 

I want to use the knowledge and skills He’s allowed me to have to help others. 

I want to wisely use the resources God’s blessed me with. 

I want to take care of the earthly body He’s loaned me while I’m here.  

I want to please my Heavenly Father with what He’s so generously loaned me.

Everything I have belongs to Him anyway. There are far more talented, intelligent, gifted, and beautiful individuals in the world, but for me, being a good steward over what God has kindly given me is one of the best ways to show Him how thankful I truly am. 

Are you thankful for the knowledge, skills, and talents He’s lovingly loaned to you? If you haven’t been or maybe have forgotten to be, know that God isn’t mad. He’s simply patiently waiting for you to acknowledge the blessings He’s given you. It pleases Him to see you happy, using what you’ve been given to glorify Him.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Social Media Break

Theodore Roosevelt – “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

2 Corinthians 10:12,18

12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 18 For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

Sometimes we can be so stubborn, can’t we? I’d really been feeling like I should take a break from social media for months. You know how it can be though. You don’t want to miss anyone’s birthday, or any news, or exciting happenings. So you find yourself scrolling through the news feed and before you know it, you’ve wasted 45 minutes or more getting “caught up” on your “friends” lives. Maybe most of your social media friends are your real friends. But if I’m honest, mine aren’t. Yes, there are a few who I know would have my back, pray for me, and actually care about me. But then there are the rest. Some are acquaintances, some are just people who sent me a friend request, some are surveillance cameras, some are nosy, even fake friends, and there’s everything in between. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care enough about staying up on everyone’s lives to keep investing that much time on social media anymore. 

I also made an interesting discovery. I noticed I feel worse after spending time on social media. Sometimes I feel just kinda generally down after scrolling. Other times I feel a short lived, “I’ve caught up let me check off that box feeling.” Other times, I feel actually hurt when my “friends” ignore me and constantly “like” other friends’ posts.

I know. Something so small and unimportant should not make me feel bad, but it does. So, I’ve made the very intentional, hopefully best for me decision to get off of social media for a while. It may be permanent, who knows. So what if I miss out on some “important” news. If someone is actually my friend, they will reach out to contact me. If I’m wanting to check up on a friend, I’ll contact them directly. This will not be a popular statement, but I’m sick of the social media craze. Humans need actual real life interactions, not some fake imitation and definitely not the fake friends. 

I’m so much happier when I’m investing time in my family members, the little kids and families I’m blessed to work with on my job, and interacting with those the Lord brings across my path in one way or another. I’m thankful for the contentment and joy found when I listen to the Holy Spirit. Especially when I listen to and follow through with his gentle nudges. I love how He patiently loves us even when we are a little stubborn.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany

The Loan

I wrote the following poem on June 13th. I don’t usually write poetry, so it was surprising to me when the words came to me that day. Little did I know, four months later, my father-in-law would be in ICU with a cancer diagnosis fighting for his life.

I’d forgotten I’d written the poem, but today as I was enjoying the serenity of the beautiful sky and sunshine, I remembered it. While our soul lives on forever, I’m reminded our time on Earth is limited. Our life is really not our own. Our family members don’t actually belong to us. Who we are and those we have in our lives are loaned to us.

Loaned by God to us.

Nothing is permanent here on Earth. It’s crucial to remember that.

Remember to be present.

Remember to be thankful.

Remember to love.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany


The Loan

Whenever you begin to judge 

your achievements as right or wrong,

Remember your life truly

to you does not belong.

Live to the fullest, 

give it your all, 

love with all your might.

But remember that each day 

is a precious gift 

and not a right.

Don’t get so caught up in 

the good, 

the bad, 

the mundane.

Remember life is but

 a blink,

 a flash, 

and then washes away like the rain.

It matters how you spend your dash-

the time, 

the money-too. 

But never, ever, ever forget…

none of it actually belongs 

to you.

It’s just on loan from your Creator 

for your time here on the Earth.

And when it is due to be paid in full,

your life loan will be up.

What will matter then is not the stuff or possessions you have attained. 

What will matter then is if your spirit 

knew the Heavenly Father’s name.

Did you ever realize all the people 

in your life were on loan to you as well?

You never really owned them, 

but did you love them well?

Did you love them with the Father’s love,

that He poured out to you?

Or did you command, 

work, and rule them 

like an owner is known to do?

Did you never, ever realize 

before it was too late, 

that you took them all for granted 

like the food upon your plate?

More precious than material things 

are the souls loaned to our care.

But when our kind master returns 

or calls us home,

what will He see here?

Will He see we treasured others 

and took care of them for Him?

Or will He see we never understood 

that they all belonged to Him?

Will He take away all He had loaned 

and say “You were so unwise.”

Or will He look at us and say

 “Thank you for lovingly caring for my prize.”

God’s children and creation 

are the prize we have been loaned.

My prayer is that 

we always see 

none of it have we ever owned.

Puzzle Pieces

Romans 8:28 has always been one of my favorite verses. When I was young, I believed I understood the meaning. It was pretty straight forward, right? All things work together to make good things, happy things, happen in life. I believed that circumstances will eventually work out exactly the way I want, so long as I loved God, did the right things, was basically a good person. Right?

I kinda didn’t think about the last part of the verse…the “called according to His purpose part.” Yes- I now realize the naivety of that interpretation! 🤦‍♀️ 

Life hits and hits hard at times.

I learned that it definitely did not always turn out the way I wanted it to. Thankfully I have learned and continue to learn that our circumstances will turn out the way God wants if we allow Him to work in our life. Ultimately it will be in our best interest for His purpose. 

God often uses the very things that are our weaknesses, struggles, and pain to achieve that.

It never crossed my mind as a college student that disability would ever be a part of my personal life. When I was in college, I knew one thing for sure, I did not like working with individuals with autism. They actually scared me. I was a speech-pathology major who quite honestly did not enjoy working with those with severe disabilities. I wanted to work with those cute little kids who couldn’t say their “r” or had a little lisp. 

One semester, when I was in graduate school, I had a huge probably 300 pound adult patient with autism. It honestly made my knees knock every time I had to work with him. He loved Neil Diamond. All he wanted to do was listen to his Neil Diamond cassette tapes on his hand held tape recorder and so that is just what we did during his speech therapy sessions! I definitely tried to work on speech goals/life skills with him, but he was easily agitated. I remember sweating bullets, thinking, if he decides to kill me, how long would it take for someone to find me!?! Everything was good so long as he got to listen to his music, which we did…a lot! 

Over the course of time and working with articulation and language disorders and those with a variety of other disabilities, I decided autism was the hardest one to deal with! At least to me. 

I definitely didn’t want to deal with all that.

God has a sense of humor doesn’t He? 😂

After having a child with severe autism for over 9 years now, I think maybe I’ve warmed up to it!  Actually now I feel a sense of connection to all those with any disability and their families. I feel compassion and empathy on a level that I would have never known had God not added Landon to our family.  

Am I saying that life is easy now? 

No way! If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I have some challenges in dealing with my son’s disability. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Some days the autistic behaviors (aggressive outbursts, bites, hits, kicks, and scratches) leave me in tears and concerns for the future.  I truly appreciate the encouragement, support, help, and prayers I’ve received along this journey. God truly has a plan and a purpose for it all along and in the last 6 months or so, God has allowed me to see the very beginnings of the next part of His plan. I’m beginning to see those very first pieces of the puzzle come together.

So for the last nine years, maybe I didn’t see how Landon’s autism, my speech therapy background, and all that went along with it would really benefit anyone or anything. I started writing this blog about 4.5 years ago to encourage others in their difficulties and I’ve had some awesome feedback. My prayer has always been for God to use the writing, and my experiences to encourage others. But if I’m totally honest there were times I felt like there had to be more than being an autism mama warrior. I’ve always felt in my spirit I was supposed to be doing something more.  I love to write and encourage others, but there seemed to be something else I was supposed to do. I just couldn’t figure out what the missing piece was.

Things sometimes get a lot worse before they get better, don’t they? That’s honestly where I was about 6-7 months ago. Not much seemed to be going right in several areas of my life.

A few years ago, a speech-language pathologist in the area saw me in SAMS and asked me to come work for her in Early Intervention (EI serves babies from age 0-3.) At that time, I was totally swamped with dealing with Landon’s behavior and medication issues as well as full-time homeschooling my two older kids so I declined her offer. 

About 6 months ago, as I said, I was really going through a trying time with several issues, and this particular lady came to my mind. I felt like I should message her and see if she needed any help with speech therapy in early intervention. Crazy, right? Despite the struggles going on in my life, I felt the nudge to do this. Message her. Reach out to her and see what she says. I thought to myself, “this is crazy, I’m sure she doesn’t need help at this point.”

So I did it.

I sent her a message. 

I didn’t even have her phone number so I just sent her a message through Messenger.

She responded in a couple of days.

“YES” was her response.

She told me she would still love to have me come work for her. She said she never found the right person to be on her team.

I realized right then that I wanted to do this. 

I immediately told her that I have a pretty full schedule still with homeschool and mommy duties I would only be able to work a few hours here and there. 

She said “You can work as little or as much as you want.”

“You can set your own schedule and hours.”

She then asks, “How much would I have to pay you to get you to come work for me?”

I’m thinking, “hold up.”

“You want to hire me- someone who hasn’t worked in speech therapy for 17 years- (although I had maintained my certification) and let me decide my hours as few or much as I want-and pay me well for it?!?”

“And would I happen to be interested in working with babies with autism and their caregivers (as well as other disabilities)?”

“Yes, I’d love to work with babies with autism and their families.”

(The organization she contracts with receives speech therapy referrals for babies from birth to three-years-old in need of early intervention.)

“Okay….”

“God, I’m in shock.” I said out loud later on that day. “I might be catching a glimpse of your plan and purpose now.”

It isn’t just about me. 

It’s about others. 

Others who I can relate to and understand now because of my own experiences with disability. 

I began seeing some speech therapy babies and their families in August. 

I’m excited for the opportunity to serve in this way. 

In every patient, 

in every family member, 

I’ll see a glimpse of Landon, 

a glimpse of my family, 

a glimpse of God’s plan, 

a picture of other image bearers of God. 

I am seeing the first little pieces of the puzzle fitting together. 

This is something God had planned all along. 

I’m familiar with sensory issues, behavioral therapy, many medications and their good and bad side effects, natural supplements, bone-weary caregiving, the effects of a disability on other family members, self-care, spiritual growth, and prayer just to name a few. 

Am I saying I have it all figured out? 

No, of course not.

But I understand more than I ever did when I was a kid in college. Hopefully in a few years I’ll know so much more than I do now. 

I understand Romans 8:28 better now, it just took me a little while to get there. 🙂

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.

~Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me – you did it to me.’

~Matthew 25:40 (The Message)

Your friend,

Tiffany

Above and Beyond

As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart. 

~Proverbs 27:19

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

       ~ Matthew 6:21

I just love “above and beyond” people.    An example for me is my son’s psychiatry nurse practitioner. She always answers my questions, works with Landon’s complex issues, brainstorms with me about new things we can try, prescribes his medication and changes his medicine if needed. We’ve worked with her for the last 4 years or so. She answers my questions promptly and actually cares about Landon. She never gives up on him. She is getting another job soon and will be so missed! I’ll always remember how she worked tirelessly for Landon even when some doctors wouldn’t and told us so.

Other amazing people immediately come to my mind who I know either as a teacher, nurse, friend, doctor, pastor, etc. and it isn’t a super long list. They care and do what they do with excellence. They really shine especially when they move, leave, retire, etc. and are replaced by those who don’t seem to care as much and sort of half-heartedly do things.

It’s hard not to compare, but I like to think of how much more this makes me appreciate the “above and beyond” people.

Those who put their whole heart in.

Those are my people.

They always will be.


Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany