Tag: Encouragement, Faith, Autism Mom, Special Needs

Puzzle Pieces

Romans 8:28 has always been one of my favorite verses. When I was young, I believed I understood the meaning. It was pretty straight forward, right? All things work together to make good things, happy things, happen in life. I believed that circumstances will eventually work out exactly the way I want, so long as I loved God, did the right things, was basically a good person. Right?

I kinda didn’t think about the last part of the verse…the “called according to His purpose part.” Yes- I now realize the naivety of that interpretation! 🤦‍♀️ 

Life hits and hits hard at times.

I learned that it definitely did not always turn out the way I wanted it to. Thankfully I have learned and continue to learn that our circumstances will turn out the way God wants if we allow Him to work in our life. Ultimately it will be in our best interest for His purpose. 

God often uses the very things that are our weaknesses, struggles, and pain to achieve that.

It never crossed my mind as a college student that disability would ever be a part of my personal life. When I was in college, I knew one thing for sure, I did not like working with individuals with autism. They actually scared me. I was a speech-pathology major who quite honestly did not enjoy working with those with severe disabilities. I wanted to work with those cute little kids who couldn’t say their “r” or had a little lisp. 

One semester, when I was in graduate school, I had a huge probably 300 pound adult patient with autism. It honestly made my knees knock every time I had to work with him. He loved Neil Diamond. All he wanted to do was listen to his Neil Diamond cassette tapes on his hand held tape recorder and so that is just what we did during his speech therapy sessions! I definitely tried to work on speech goals/life skills with him, but he was easily agitated. I remember sweating bullets, thinking, if he decides to kill me, how long would it take for someone to find me!?! Everything was good so long as he got to listen to his music, which we did…a lot! 

Over the course of time and working with articulation and language disorders and those with a variety of other disabilities, I decided autism was the hardest one to deal with! At least to me. 

I definitely didn’t want to deal with all that.

God has a sense of humor doesn’t He? 😂

After having a child with severe autism for over 9 years now, I think maybe I’ve warmed up to it!  Actually now I feel a sense of connection to all those with any disability and their families. I feel compassion and empathy on a level that I would have never known had God not added Landon to our family.  

Am I saying that life is easy now? 

No way! If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I have some challenges in dealing with my son’s disability. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Some days the autistic behaviors (aggressive outbursts, bites, hits, kicks, and scratches) leave me in tears and concerns for the future.  I truly appreciate the encouragement, support, help, and prayers I’ve received along this journey. God truly has a plan and a purpose for it all along and in the last 6 months or so, God has allowed me to see the very beginnings of the next part of His plan. I’m beginning to see those very first pieces of the puzzle come together.

So for the last nine years, maybe I didn’t see how Landon’s autism, my speech therapy background, and all that went along with it would really benefit anyone or anything. I started writing this blog about 4.5 years ago to encourage others in their difficulties and I’ve had some awesome feedback. My prayer has always been for God to use the writing, and my experiences to encourage others. But if I’m totally honest there were times I felt like there had to be more than being an autism mama warrior. I’ve always felt in my spirit I was supposed to be doing something more.  I love to write and encourage others, but there seemed to be something else I was supposed to do. I just couldn’t figure out what the missing piece was.

Things sometimes get a lot worse before they get better, don’t they? That’s honestly where I was about 6-7 months ago. Not much seemed to be going right in several areas of my life.

A few years ago, a speech-language pathologist in the area saw me in SAMS and asked me to come work for her in Early Intervention (EI serves babies from age 0-3.) At that time, I was totally swamped with dealing with Landon’s behavior and medication issues as well as full-time homeschooling my two older kids so I declined her offer. 

About 6 months ago, as I said, I was really going through a trying time with several issues, and this particular lady came to my mind. I felt like I should message her and see if she needed any help with speech therapy in early intervention. Crazy, right? Despite the struggles going on in my life, I felt the nudge to do this. Message her. Reach out to her and see what she says. I thought to myself, “this is crazy, I’m sure she doesn’t need help at this point.”

So I did it.

I sent her a message. 

I didn’t even have her phone number so I just sent her a message through Messenger.

She responded in a couple of days.

“YES” was her response.

She told me she would still love to have me come work for her. She said she never found the right person to be on her team.

I realized right then that I wanted to do this. 

I immediately told her that I have a pretty full schedule still with homeschool and mommy duties I would only be able to work a few hours here and there. 

She said “You can work as little or as much as you want.”

“You can set your own schedule and hours.”

She then asks, “How much would I have to pay you to get you to come work for me?”

I’m thinking, “hold up.”

“You want to hire me- someone who hasn’t worked in speech therapy for 17 years- (although I had maintained my certification) and let me decide my hours as few or much as I want-and pay me well for it?!?”

“And would I happen to be interested in working with babies with autism and their caregivers (as well as other disabilities)?”

“Yes, I’d love to work with babies with autism and their families.”

(The organization she contracts with receives speech therapy referrals for babies from birth to three-years-old in need of early intervention.)

“Okay….”

“God, I’m in shock.” I said out loud later on that day. “I might be catching a glimpse of your plan and purpose now.”

It isn’t just about me. 

It’s about others. 

Others who I can relate to and understand now because of my own experiences with disability. 

I began seeing some speech therapy babies and their families in August. 

I’m excited for the opportunity to serve in this way. 

In every patient, 

in every family member, 

I’ll see a glimpse of Landon, 

a glimpse of my family, 

a glimpse of God’s plan, 

a picture of other image bearers of God. 

I am seeing the first little pieces of the puzzle fitting together. 

This is something God had planned all along. 

I’m familiar with sensory issues, behavioral therapy, many medications and their good and bad side effects, natural supplements, bone-weary caregiving, the effects of a disability on other family members, self-care, spiritual growth, and prayer just to name a few. 

Am I saying I have it all figured out? 

No, of course not.

But I understand more than I ever did when I was a kid in college. Hopefully in a few years I’ll know so much more than I do now. 

I understand Romans 8:28 better now, it just took me a little while to get there. 🙂

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.

~Romans 8:28 (NLT)

Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me – you did it to me.’

~Matthew 25:40 (The Message)

Your friend,

Tiffany

Unless…

My life is immersed in autism and special needs due to my son’s disability as most who follow my blog know. I haven’t written as much lately due to factors related to that and some other issues that are having to be addressed. Anyway, another special needs mom shared the following link yesterday, and it totally touched my heart so I wanted to share. (I haven’t donated to them, but just loved the heart behind the program. ❤️) It was a great reminder to me about not only caring with words but in the kind actions of giving and serving, too. I pray God richly blesses all who serve others in love whether with words or actions or both.

Blessings friends!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Here is the link to special needs program. Click on the short intro video on the site. I hope it blesses you!

https://www.unlessu.org/

The Value of Creative Work

It seems as though lately tons of things have been added to my plate, some of which I didn’t see coming. I’m so thankful God did, however, and that He works all things for our good. The following is an excellent reminder of the significance of our creative work. While our identity is so much more than our work, the gifts we use in our creative work are valuable and significant to God.

Excerpt from Jesus the Creator, Carpenter, Gardener, & King, this week’s devotion from my church. Just a little reminder and encouragement that our creative work has purpose and value. 
Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Before God tells us He is love, before He tells us He is holy, before He tells us He is Savior, God wants you and I to know that He is a creative, productive, working God.

This idea of a God who works is unique in the long list of stories of the origin of the world. Every other religion claims that the gods created human beings to work and serve the gods. None would dare to say that God Himself works—much less introduce that fact in the first breath of the story.

This truth carries the utmost significance for the work we do today. Work is not a fringe thing or a meaningless means to an end. Work is central to who God is, and thus, central to who we are as His image bearers. That’s one of the great meanings of this first revelation of Jesus Christ.

And it’s not just any work that God does. It’s creative work—the work of taking risks to create new things for the good of others. It’s the work of entrepreneurs and artists, storytellers and sales executives, marketers and mothers. And as we will see tomorrow, it’s the type of work Jesus did when he came to earth to be born into the home of a carpenter.

Unexpected Blessings

Thank you to everyone who prayed for Landon’s dental surgery Friday. I could really feel all the prayers. ❤️ I honestly thought I would be inspired to write because of the difficulty of the experience of Landon’s dental surgery, but that isn’t the case. God blew me away with His goodness and kindness. I know the unexpected blessings were answers to specific prayers because they were little miracles that would normally not happen.

Unexpected Blessing #1

When we were checking in, a nurse came over and told me she had a son with autism. She told me it would be about a three hour wait until it was Landon’s turn. She understood how hard it would be for Landon to sit and wait so she suggested we ride around in the van and said she would call me when it was his turn to go back. The waiting time was one of my concerns as Landon gets really anxious when having to wait in a new place.

Unexpected Blessing #2

Murry and I rode around with Landon for about an hour. He had nothing to eat or drink since the night before at about 8:00pm. If you know Landon, you know he LOVES to eat. 😂 During the van ride he only asked for chicken nuggets twice AND he never had a meltdown. We told him he would have to wait until we ”got the boo-boos in his teeth fixed” to have food. Usually he gets really upset when he’s hungry, so again, I have no doubt God was answering that specific prayer. He only asked for chicken nuggets a couple of times but never got frustrated.

Unexpected Blessing #3

When the nurse called us, we drove back to the hospital and walked Landon back to a private room. They immediately gave him a medication to calm him hidden in a small amount of Sprite. (The only slight hiccup we had was that two doses of meds didn’t put him to sleep. The anesthesiologist seemed a little surprised. I imagine he’d probably never met anyone quite like Landon who has the strength and resolve of a much larger person.😂) However, they did not put his IV in until he was asleep. Answer to prayer right here! During the last (attempted) blood draw at the doctor, Landon was fighting so hard a vein blew immediately causing a golf-ball sized knot on his tiny arm. So my concern about that was totally resolved!

Unexpected Blessing #4

When they took him back, he settled down and did great with the anesthesia. The dentist X-rayed his teeth. The x-ray revealed he had 9 cavities…more than we thought! The dentist filled them, cleaned his teeth, and sealed his teeth. She said we shouldn’t have to do this again for several years or maybe not ever.

Unexpected Blessing #5

The nurses warned us that patients often are combative when waking up from anesthesia. Landon wasn’t! They even removed his IV without much fuss.

Unexpected Blessing #6

When Landon was awake enough to sit in the wheelchair and be taken out to the van, the nurse and my husband easily moved him into the van. I drove home, Landon slept in the van and remained asleep as we tucked him back into his own bed. Again…no meltdown!

Unexpected Blessing #7

Landon woke up several hours later. He was happy, smiling, and wolfed down two hotdogs and some water. He never got nauseous or sick from the anesthesia!

Unexpected Blessing #8

The next day, I decided to attempt to brush Landon’s teeth. Normally he fights me…big time. But he didn’t. He allowed me to brush his teeth without a fuss!

Then it hit me.

The thought that maybe part of the reason he had been fighting and so upset about having his teeth brushed was due to the fact that he had so many cavities!

Maybe his teeth were sensitive and hurt!

He couldn’t tell me his teeth hurt!


All he could do was scream and try to get me to stop brushing.

I still can’t get this thought out of my head! God knew all along that Landon’s teeth were sensitive and causing him pain. I’ve never had a cavity in my life. Not one. I don’t know how it feels. We don’t know how long Landon has had undetected cavities. But God knows. Landon’s surgery had to happen. To make him better. To remove and cut away the deteriorated part of his teeth. The parts that were causing Landon pain. Pain we couldn’t see. Pain we couldn’t fix.

How many times do we have something in our life that is hurting us? Maybe it’s something God wants us to let go of. Could it be He wants to remove some things that we aren’t even aware of so we can heal? Things only He can see.

I‘m so thankful God loves Landon. He loves each unique individual, more than a parent loves each of their own children. Although we do live in an imperfect world full of “cavities” at times, the Holy Spirit is always present in our lives- comforting, guiding, and helping us. He uncovers hidden hurt and pain and leads us towards healing where we need it. He’ll even send us unexpected blessings to remind us He’s there through it all. He wants us to have abundant life. Not because we earned it or deserved it. But because He loves us in an unexplainable and beautiful way. Simply because we are His.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany

PS As I am writing this, the song You’re Carrying Me (Vineyard Worship) began to play on Pandora. I really felt I should share the lyrics. No matter what pain or burden you might be carrying, remember God is carrying you. Trust Him.

Unexpected kindness, I turn my face to You
Surrounded by Your mercy, I’m falling into You

I’m waiting, You’re running and I lean into You

You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord
You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord

I don’t know the future but I place my hope in You, hm-mm-mmm
As You call me forward, I’m falling into You

I’m waiting, You’re running and I lean into You
My burdens are falling as I lean into You

You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord
You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord
You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord
You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord

I’m waiting, You’re running and I lean into You, woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
My burdens, they are falling as I lean into You, oh

You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord
You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me, You’re carrying me
And I choose to trust You, Lord

I trust You, I trust You, I trust You, hm-mm-mm-mm-mm
I trust You, I trust You, I trust You

My March Tree/Birthday Tree

I wasn’t sure if I would have a March tree. My 10-year- old son was not too keen on the whole Christmas tree still being up thing. 😂 Since his birthday party is on Saturday, I promised to decorate it as a birthday tree. He actually told me he liked it today.

On another note, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as my other son has to have emergency dental surgery on Friday. It will be an exhausting and challenging day. However, I’m sure Landon will provide me with plenty of inspiration for writing that day.

Blessings to you, friends. I pray the beginning of your springtime is beautiful.

Your friend,

Tiffany


Springtime (Chris Renzema)

You’re the resurrection
That we’ve waited for
You buried the night
And came with the morning
You’re the king of heaven
The praise is yours
The longer the quiet
The louder the chorus

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

We will sing a new song
‘Cause death is dead and gone with the winter
We will sing a new song
Let “hallelujahs” flow like a river
We’re coming back to life
Reaching towards the light
Your love is like springtime

You’re the living water
God, we thirst for you
The dry and the barren
Will flower and bloom
You’re the sun that’s shining
You restore my soul
The deeper you call us
Oh, the deeper we’ll go

We will sing a new song
‘Cause death is dead and gone with the winter
We will sing a new song
Let “hallelujahs” flow like a river
We’re coming back to life
Reaching towards the light
Your love is like springtime

Come tend the soil
Come tend the soil of my soul
And like a garden
And like a garden I will grow
I will grow
Come tend the soil
Come tend the soil of my soul
And like a garden
And like a garden I will grow
I will grow
I will grow
I will grow

We will sing a new song
‘Cause death is dead and gone with the winter
We will sing a new song
Let “hallelujahs” flow like a river
We’re coming back to life
Reaching towards the light
Your love is like springtime
Like springtime

Enough

Valentine’s Day may not be a happy day for everyone, but whether it is or not, you will never be more loved than you are right now. Earthly love may be temporary, but Heavenly love is eternal. The song Jireh (Elevation Worship and Maverick City Music) came to mind this morning, even though I had not heard it in awhile. It’s kinda long, but the lyrics are so good.

Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤️

Your friend,

Tiffany

 

I’ll never be more loved than I am right now
Wasn’t holding You up
So there’s nothing I can do to let You down
It doesn’t take a trophy to make You proud
I’ll never be more loved than I am right now, oh

Going through a storm but I won’t go down
I hear Your voice
Carried in the rhythm of the wind to call me out
You would cross an ocean so I wouldn’t drown
You’ve never been closer than You are right now
(Let’s sing it loud y’all)

You are Jireh, You are enough
Jireh, You are enough
And I will be content in every circumstance
You are Jireh, You are enough

Forever enough
Always enough
More than enough
Forever enough
Always enough
More than enough

I don’t wanna forget how I feel right now
On the mountaintop
I can see so clear what it’s all about
So stay by my side when the sun goes down
Don’t wanna forget how I feel right now (Jireh)

Jireh, You are enough
Jireh, You are enough (so I will be)
I will be content in every circumstance
Jireh, You are enough (He is always enough)

He’s forever enough
Always enough
Always more than enough
He is, He is
Forever enough
Always enough (He’s everything, He’s always)
More than enough (yeah)

I’m already loved
I’m already chosen
I know who I am
I know what You’ve spoken
I’m already loved
More than I could imagine
And that is enough, oh-oh

I’m already loved (I’m already loved)
I’m already chosen (I’m already chosen)
I know who I am (I know who I am)
I know what You’ve spoken (I know what You’ve spoken)
I’m already loved (I’m already loved)
More than I could imagine (more than I could imagine)
That is enough (that is enough)
It’s enough for me, oh

I’m already loved (I’m already loved)
I’m already chosen (I’m already chosen)
I know who I am (I know who I am)
I know, I know what You’ve spoken (I know what You’ve spoken)
I’m already loved (I’m already loved)
More than I could even fathom (more than I could imagine)
And that is enough (and that is enough)
Yes it is, it’s enough, it’s enough

And that is enough (that is enough)
What His truth says is better than anything
That is enough (that is enough)
What He’s declared over us, it’s true
That is enough (that is enough)
That is enough (that is enough)

That is enough (that is enough)
Jehovah, You are (that is enough)
El Shaddai, You are (that is enough)
When I have You, I have everything (that is enough)
When I have Jesus, I have everything (that is enough)
That is enough (that is enough)

‘Cause You are enough (You are enough)
You’re my portion (You are enough)
You’re my portion (You are enough)
More than enough for me (You are enough)
Say, You are enough (You are enough)
So I am enough (so I am enough)
You are enough (You are enough)
So I am enough (so I am enough)
Say, Jireh

Jireh, You are enough (Jireh)
Jireh, You are enough (yes Your are)
I will be content in every circumstance
Jireh, You are enough, oh-ooh (You are)

If He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor
How much more will He clothe you?
How much more will He clothe you?
If He watched over every sparrow
How much more does He love you?
How much more does He love you?

If He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor
How much more will He clothe you?
How much more will He clothe you?
If He watched over every sparrow
How much more does He love you?
How much more does He love you?

If He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor
How much more will He clothe you?
How much more will He clothe you?
If He watched over every sparrow (don’t you worry!)
How much more does He love you? (Our Father loves you)
How much more does He love you? (How much more?)

How much more does He love you? (How much more?)
How much more does He love you? (How much more?)
How much more does He love you? (How much more?)
How much more does He love you? (How much more?)
How much more does He love you?

It’s more than you ask, think or imagine
According to His power working in us
It’s more than enough
It’s more than you ask, think or imagine, oh yeah
According to His power working in us
It’s more than enough (let’s go y’all)

Okay It’s more than you ask, think or imagine (so according)
According to His power, it’s working in us (how much more does He love you?)
It’s more than enough (how much more? Sing!)
More than you ask, think or imagine (so according)
According to His power working in us (how much more does He love you?)
It’s more than enough (one more time, sing!)

More than you ask, think or imagine
According to His power working in us (how much more does He love you?)
It’s more than enough (how much more?)
It’s more than enough (how much more?)
More than you know (more than enough)
It’s more than enough (more than you know)
More than you know (more)

Jireh, You are enough
Jireh, You are enough (You’ve always been enough)
And I will be content in every circumstance
Jireh, You are enough

And I will be content (yes) in every circumstance
Jireh, You are enough

Groundhog Day and Autism

(Originally shared last year on 2/1/21.)

I know I share a lot about autism and yes it is probably because we deal with it on a daily basis. I wanted to share the following, not because I feel sorry for myself or because we’re having a harder time than usual dealing with Landon’s disability. I wanted to share it because I think it’s a pretty profound and very good example of how it feels to live with a child with autism. I’ve honestly never heard such a good analogy. The analogy is “having a child with autism is like living in the movie Groundhog Day.”

Awhile back I began reading a book which was recommended to Murry and I called Wrestling With An Angel (Greg Lucas). It is an excellent book written by a police officer who has a severely disabled son. If you are interested in seeing what it really is like living with a child with a disability, this is a great book to read. (Note: This is not a feel good book and kinda heavy, but very authentic and you might need some Kleenex if you do read it.) I guess the Groundhog Day analogy is a bit more light-hearted but super good and true!

A family member sent us the Welcome to Holland Poem awhile back and Murry wrote the following after reading the poem. I thought it was so good!!! Raising a child with autism is almost identical to living in Groundhog Day each and every day. We are so thankful for the encouragement, prayers, help and support we have received along this journey of having a child with a disability.

The following is what Murry wrote:

If you haven’t read WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley, I encourage you to read the long unabridged version. It is really good. 

However, I would liken our autism experience allegorically (not exactly of course) to Punxsutawney PA… specifically in the movie Groundhog Day. It is never a vacation… Holland or Italy doesn’t exist.  You are there to work. Like in the movie you realize that you were meant to learn that it isn’t about you and your dreams… you were meant to help others.   

Yet, in this world you learn that you will always be stuck in the same day even if you learn your lesson… whatever it is. Lol..  Knowing you will never see Holland or Italy… you are always in Punxsutawney. 

There are a lot of good things. You learn to play piano (or musical chairs), take CPR (literally for your child’s sake), save other people falling from trees (or autism panic and in other dark places)… hoping that you will do your part leading people to Heaven than you otherwise would. 

Also there are great people in Punxsutawney that are loving and helpful. But most of those people don’t know they are in Groundhog Day. Only those who are also living with a child with autism. 

If you know of someone who needs encouragement or someone to talk to please call a Christian who has a child with autism. We have had those people in our lives. They are always encouraging, always finding God in everything, and NOT always having the all answers… but knowing that He does. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Setbacks

Life is moving so fast it’s hard to keep up lately. I’m so thankful that we are over all the sickness at our house, but ready or not life is at full throttle now. With co-op/homeschool classes for the oldest child, homeschool for the middle one, and the youngest in public school, (not to mention 2 dogs, the husband’s busy work schedule, and basic day to day stuff) it can be a wild ride! 

Unfortunately, lately Landon (our child with autism), has had some setbacks. His aggression at school is ramping up despite taking a combination of five different medications. It has taken us literally years and suffering through multiple trial and error attempts to get the right combination of meds that help him the most. Unfortunately, his symptoms and behaviors are curbed only for a short time before he grows, his body becomes accustomed to the meds, and things have to be tweaked or changed completely. 

I really can’t adequately describe the helpless feeling I have when I get a note home about him hitting other students and teachers, having multiple crying spells, not staying dressed due to his sensory issues, etc. I don’t know what to do other than reach out to his doctor, make her aware of the situation and pray. At home he is not necessarily aggressive, but extremely hyperactive. To me, it seems the hyperactivity and sensory issues are what cause him to hit, etc., it isn’t necessarily anger. Those factors combined with the fact that he is primarily non-verbal contribute to his difficult behaviors….and boy are they seriously difficult!

I don’t remember what it feels like not to be bone tired. I wake up tired, push through the day tired, and go to bed exhausted. Despite all of this, I like to find the good in each day and consciously remind myself that God sees it all and is in control.

Friend, if you are struggling with an extremely hard situation, please know that you are not alone in your circumstances whatever they may be. Let this be your reminder that God sees you and is with you. He is reaching down to you and is aware of everything going on in your life. He has the hairs on your head numbered and promises to work all things for your good. The setbacks aren’t forever even if it feels that way. I truly believe God has a plan and purpose for everything in life. However, I know how hard it can be to find the positive parts of life when it feels like wave after wave of negatives come crashing in. So today, I chose to think about some positives instead of worrying about the not so good aspects. Here are a few pics of “good” from the last few days.  What are the positive snapshots from your life lately?

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany


Mental Health Perceptions- Part 1

I was totally going to post something more light-hearted today about my “many forms of therapy.” I’ll definitely post about that later, however, the seriousness of mental health problems and the way these issues are so often dealt with often weigh heavy on my heart and mind. 

From my own experiences in life, it seems as though mental health disorders are treated by many (not by all) as one or more of the following:

  1. not real, all in someone’s head
  2. not an illness or not having a physical/physiological cause
  3. indication of having a spiritual problem


Not real/all in someone’s head

I’m sure I’m leaving out some points, but the thoughts listed above came to mind first. Why would the average person say that they had a mental illness? They know stating this could possibly cause others to label them with all sort of hurtful words. They know it could cause some ostracism. Yet, they admit they have a mental health problem. (This is not referring to someone who might claim a mental health illness to receive financial compensation or to “get off the hook” for a crime, but just the average person.) Why would they admit to a mental health illness? Probably because they have one.

On the other end of the spectrum, some individuals with a mental illness may never admit to or discuss it for the very same reasons-ostracism, labels, avoiding negative reactions from others.

I’d rather take someone seriously about this issue than not, and have a tragedy occur. I would rather believe them and offer support or point them in the right direction for help, than to disregard a mental health issue. I would hope those I know would feel comfortable knowing they could come to me to discuss mental health without negative reactions.

If a mental illness was a different form of illness, how would it be treated? If, for example, someone stated that they had an ongoing heart condition and weren’t feeling well, that person would be taken seriously by most. They would be offered medical assistance/support. Prescribed medicine, sympathized with, helped, comforted. They would not be given labels. They would be taken seriously. So why the difference? 

To me, Christians, should be the first on the list at offering support and love regardless of the illness. This isn’t always the case. (Again, not saying this goes for all.) We aren’t called to judge or determine what is “real,” we are called to love, regardless. To be like Christ, we should care and extend love and grace.

Some groups of people are excellent at providing this type of support and others, not so much. I pray I’m always one to offer support, love and help, judgement free to those I know who are struggling in this way. This world can be harsh, hard, and cold. To me, those who have an illness of any sort need extra compassion and kindness shown to them on the regular. I hope to sow the qualities St. Francis so beautifully described: love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy. You just never know if the kindness you extend is exactly what someone needs at a certain moment in time.

I plan to most more on this soon! Hope your day is blessed. 💕

Your friend,

Tiffany