If You Want Me To

If You Want Me To (Ginny Owens)

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear

And I don’t know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I’m gonna walk through the valley if You want me to

‘Cause I’m not who I was when I took my first step

And I’m clinging to the promise You’re not through with me yet

So if all of these trials bring me closer to You

Then I will go through the fire if You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen

When You lead me through a world that’s not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I’ll never go alone, yeah oh oh

So when the whole world turns against me and I’m all by myself

And I can’t hear You answer my cries for help

I’ll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the valley if You want me to

I’ve had this blog for several years, but for the last couple of years at least, I haven’t written much here. Life has been “lifeing” and I haven’t really made it a priority. However, I’ve been surprised, honestly, about views I continue to get without writing new content. I was recently told by a reader that my blog was “interesting and intelligent.” It surprised me a little and it caused me to consider writing more frequently. I have plenty to share still, and honestly if what I have to say encourages even one person, I think it’s worth taking the time to post my thoughts here. So lately, several areas of my life have been really, really tough. Quite honestly, I’m at a loss of how to improve the situations in those areas. I feel stuck and pretty discouraged about the circumstances.

My youngest child, a 13-year old with autism, loves to take car rides every evening. He won’t let me forget and always approaches me in the afternoon or evening and says “car ride?”. I almost always make sure he gets his evening trip and we listen to music while we are riding. Sometimes we listen to kids songs, love songs, or classical music, but many times we listen to praise and worship radio on Pandora. I’ll be honest, sometimes the tears start when I’m listening and singing along. Sometimes I pray out loud. Sometimes I don’t say anything. There are times when I’m quiet and I feel God speak gently to my heart. Recently, I had one of those moments during the evening drive. God placed a song in my mind that I hadn’t heard in years called “If You Want Me To”. The artist who sings the song is blind. Her name is Ginny Owens and I heard her perform live once when I was in college….many years ago. At the time I was going through a really devastating break up and had some depression to go along with it. I had the chance to speak to Ginny and tell her that her song had encouraged me and inspired me to keep going even while in the middle of the valley. God brought the song to my memory recently out of nowhere. I believe that was a sign to share the song here, today. If you’re going through a really dark, hard place, you’re never walking alone. God guides our paths and even carries us when we aren’t even aware. While we are never promised an easy life free from problems, we can take comfort in the fact that we never walk through the difficulties alone.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Perspectives

Ephesians 4:1-3

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Lately there has been a lot of information in the news regarding the acetaminophen/Tylenol information, and leucovorin as a possible autism treatment. I just wanted to share some thoughts from my perspective. My family and I have lived over 12 years day in and day out with an autistic child with severe symptoms. Most families probably don’t have that experience. I’ve heard and read a lot from a variety of families- those who have a child/children with autism and those that don’t. I honestly can understand responses coming from both sides. As a mom with an autistic child (severe) my initial thoughts (which I never spoke aloud at first) were:

Thankfulness that we have leadership that actually sees us (autistic families) and wants to try to help…has prioritized trying to help. We have literally had doctors tell us they couldn’t see Landon anymore, they weren’t comfortable dealing with his issues, and refer us to someone else. By the grace of God, we found a nurse practitioner who tries her very best with Landon and never gives up. So to actually be seen and not ignored or brushed aside as insignificant is huge to me! Is our leadership perfect? Of course not, but just knowing that efforts are being made and will continue to be made counts for a great deal in my book!
Frustration ( and then understanding) at the jokes and negative comments that have been made about Tylenol. I initially was frustrated by those who have high functioning kids on the spectrum and/or those who have “normal” neurotypical kids laughing and making fun of it all, but then I realized, they can’t understand the impact of severe autism because they don’t have to live it. Ignorance is bliss. I remember how life was before we had Landon. I’d see kids with a disability and their parents and think “wow, they are wonderful people, but I’m glad I don’t have to deal with all that.” I was completely unaware. I couldn’t empathize because I hadn’t experienced it. So I decided to let the frustration go, because I remember being a “normal” family before Landon. It was such a sweet and simple time. Life was so easy. But I have friends now who do have kids with autism. I’ve seen their hurt and pain and frustration. I hurt for them as they are being hurt right now. I’m sorry you are hurt. Please know you are seen and not forgotten.
Is preventing autism as simple as not taking Tylenol? Of course not…but after reading some studies, I realized it could play a small part in worsening autistic symptoms. We found out in February that Landon actually has a rare genetic syndrome. It’s called 7q11.23 duplication syndrome. Landon’s geneticist believes that his syndrome accounts for the severity of his autistic symptoms. I rarely took any medication with any of my pregnancies, but I did give my kids, including Landon, Tylenol when he was sick or had shots. (My kids were vaccinated, however I used an alternate shot schedule so they would get no more than 2 shots per visit.) But with Landon’s genetic profile…the chance that Tylenol could have affected him more than a neurotypical kid is a definite possibility. I recently read that Tylenol depletes glutathione in the brain which is a necessary antioxidant to clear or clean out toxins in the brain. When a foreign substance (such as a vaccine or other material) is introduced into the body, glutathione does its job and cleans out the toxins. Tylenol reduces glutathione in the brain . Tylenol has been the medication of choice to reduce fever/pain in infants. Would taking Tylenol be a problem for most typical kids? Probably not. Could a genetically predisposed (susceptible child) like Landon taking Tylenol as an infant be a problem? Yep, especially if it caused a prolonged increase in toxins in the brain during critical developmental stages.
Autism is extremely complex and multifaceted. It will probably take a long time to dig through all the complexities, causes, and how those factors work together to make autism what it is. But I’m thankful the digging has begun. I pray for answers and treatment and hope for my family and all families affected by autism. I will continue to listen to and empathize with both those whose families are affected by autism and those whose aren’t, as well as those who have high functioning autistic kids. I pray God helps me to always respond to others with understanding and kindness no matter the circumstance and my own perspectives. Blessings.

Your friend,
Tiffany

Friday Afternoon Adventure

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

“Adventure may hurt you, but monotony will kill you.”

Just had a kinda crazy adventure. I was headed over to take Landon to the community pool and a saddled horse ran in front of me at the entrance of our subdivision and started running down highway! I decided to follow it. It was in the road at first but then moved to the side in the grass…still running. Cars were swerving to avoid it and pulling over. Somehow I got ahead of the horse and pulled into someone’s driveway where there was a larger grassy area. I parked the van (with Landon in it) and started walking towards the horse and talking to it. It slowed down and came to me and I got its reins and patted it. Another person stopped and came over and a couple of minutes later the horse’s owner, a 70-year-old man, said that “Black Jack” had thrown him a little bit earlier! I’m glad the horse didn’t get hit running down the highway! I’m also glad I was in the right place at the right time to help. What an adventure!

Have you had any adventures this summer? Blessings, friends!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Healing Tears

May of this year was tough for me. On May 1st, I wrecked our mini van. It was the first major car accident I’ve ever been it. I was in a multiple car accident and I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I walked away perfectly fine, but my van took all the impact. Obviously, I wish the accident could’ve been avoided, but I was so thankful to be okay.

A few days after that, I came down with a severe cold complete with laryngitis and a severe sore throat and cough. Within a few days, I developed a terrible ear infection in my right ear. It was pretty excruciating and was the first severe ear infection I ever remember having in my lifetime. The pain/pressure lasted for several weeks despite multiple trips to the doctor, two antibiotics, a steroid pack, Flonase spray, Zyrtec, Mucinex, Tylenol, Advil, and 2 bags of cough drops.

On May 22nd, I actually had a tube put in my ear to try to drain my ear and help it start to heal. The tube helped only minimally. My ear had constant tinnitus, popping, pressure, and pain not to mention that I couldn’t hear much out of it. I started to feel discouragement setting in. I didn’t know what else to do. The inability to get relief from the ear infection was weighing on me and draining me. I decided to try to make another appointment with the ENT and was told I’d have to wait for weeks to get another appointment. I’d asked friends and family members to pray and I know they had been, but no relief came.

I’m not a person who cries at the drop off a hat, but after weeks of being sick, one afternoon in late May, I went into the bathroom locked the door and cried and cried. I asked God to please heal my ear and give me some relief. I cried a lot. When the tears finally stopped, I noticed that the pressure seemed a little better in my ear. I wondered if it were my imagination or all the crying had loosened something and had begun to unclog my ear. It didn’t get better overnight but after another week or so, I could tell my ear was starting to improve. Before it got better, I could hear a constant swooshing sound which seemed to be in rhythm with my heartbeat in my ear. It was so strange and very annoying, however ever so slowly the swooshing sound began to lessen, the pressure and pain slowly got better, until finally one day, it stopped.

Every day now, when I wake up, I tell God thank you for hearing the prayers and healing my ear. My hearing is not quite a 100% but it is much improved. I will never take healthy ears for granted again. It truly seemed that my healing really began with the tears.

Maybe that sounds strange and I’m not saying it is necessarily good to cry for days on end, but sometimes instead of keeping the emotions all bottled up, letting the tears flow really can lead us into the healing process. For me, I don’t even realize I’m holding tears in at times, but I think this has taught me to be more aware of the emotions under the surface. While emotions and feelings shouldn’t control our every thought and action, experiencing, processing, and working through them is truly healthy. In my case, I think it really helped me to heal.

God knew what He was doing when he created us with so much complexity and intricacy including our emotions. In every trial, in every sickness, in each problem we face, He’s there gently guiding us. He hears us when we call out to Him. He sees our tears. He answers our prayers. He is always there working on our behalf. He heals us and I’m so thankful.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany

The Gift of Speech

I’ve been busy writing lately…just not blogging. 😊Most of my writing lately is in the form of speech therapy notes, but I love it and am thankful to give in this way.

“Early Intervention may be one of the most positive experiences that parents of children with disabilities will encounter.”

I was completing some continuing education a couple of months ago and I read the quote above in a research article. It is one of the main reasons I am thankful to be a speech therapist (part-time) in early intervention. I love helping kids with special needs and their families. That and because I know first hand what it is like to have a child with a disability.

Today, I was able to experience hearing a child say one of their very first words! I also heard from another mom today that their child is using some sign language and saying 2-3 words now. Both of these kids were not speaking when I first saw them. I am absolutely not taking all the credit for this…the majority of the credit goes to the parents and caregivers who work with their baby every day. I give them some suggestions on things to try and they put it into practice. Experiencing the excitement the family feels when their baby begins to talk, despite a delay or disability, is such a gift. It is a blessing to be a part of that process. It’s something I would probably never have experienced if not for having a child with a disability myself. God works all things together for good. I’m thankful for that. ❤️ If you’re in the middle of a really hard season of life and things don’t make sense right now, just hang on and trust God to use it for good in your life. He won’t let you down.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Compassion For Animals

Today, my goldendoodle is having surgery. I am trying not to worry, but it is super hard. My dog is my faithful friend. (Yes, I am totally a dog person.😊) For me, my dog is just good for my heart! No matter how hard life gets, Asher just waits for me to get home so he can shower me with love. ❤️ I wish I was ignorant to the way some treat their animals, but unfortunately we live in a fallen world. As I am thinking about my pup, I found some quotes to share. In reading them, I was reminded about God’s care for all of his creation including animals.

Your friend,

Tiffany

“When I look into the eyes of an

animal, I do not see an animal. I

see a living being. I see a friend. I

feel a soul.”

A.D. Williams

A good dog often has a better character than some people.

~ Tiffany Guy

Right Where God Meant For You To Be

2022…wow. For me it was filled with extremes. There were some truly pain-filled moments…like super painful. Yet, there were some unbelievably amazing, “God, I can’t believe this is happening” experiences. All took place in 2022. I honestly would have been fine with 2022 being more smooth sailing, calm, and even boring, but God had other plans. So, no, I really would not want to repeat this year! 😂 However, I am humbled and amazed at how God allowed the pain to bring about some truly good things.

Sometimes it takes being hurt and completely dependent on God to make new decisions and choices that open doors to some of the best things.

Even if a painful situation happens to be caused by another’s poor choices and behavior, God will cause all things to work together for our good if we trust Him.

I know how hard it can be to walk by faith. Hopefully, 2022 taught me how to become a little better at that. 😊

The things that hurt this year:

-harsh words and actions of others

-realizing those who you thought were your friends, weren’t

The things that healed this year:

my part-time job as a speech therapist in early intervention
learning that others actions are a reflection of who they are and that those actions have nothing to do with me as a person
Watching God, situations, medicine, and better choices truly change someone for the better, even when it seemed hopeless to me.

Whether you are hurting, healing, or hunky-dory, I pray you are able to sense God’s very real presence in your life in 2023. He is the only one who has truly been with you through it all- the good, the bad, and the in between. He’s led you right to where you are. Others may say they love you, but Jesus loves you much, much more. There is no end to the depth of His love and it won’t let you down. Jesus is a faithful friend who won’t fail you even when you have no idea how things will work out. Trust Him. Walk by faith even if it isn’t easy in 2023. God can and will work things out for good for you if you hang on, persevere, and keep pushing forward. You’ll be a stronger, better you as a result. May you always know that where you are is right where God meant for you to be at this time.

Never forget you can and will do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

I pray your cup overflows with blessings and Jesus’ love surrounds you today and every day of the new year.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Christmas Peace

“I’m so excited to finally be on Christmas Break!”

“I just love the holidays and hate when it’s all over.”

“Christmas is my favorite holiday!”

I’ve heard several of the above statements recently. Do you agree with these? Is Christmas a beautiful, enjoyable, restful break time for you? Is it a time where you pause and think of the true meaning of Christmas? Maybe it’s a happy, yet hectic time for you made up of fun events and holiday activities? Is it a time that is busy and beautiful, yet deep down feels lonely and empty to you? This season can be any of the above. What is to you?

This year, for me, this season has been different than usual. I’ve experienced some beautiful moments, but faced some very sombering ones too. My husband faced some health issues recently which prompted a couple of trips to the ER. Those experiences and the need to try to prevent him from having any additional stress have added more to my plate. I usually get a little stressed anyway with all the shopping, events, and in general as a parent of a special needs child. I try to counter the stress by preparing in advance to have the presents bought, wrapped, ready. I try to have the holiday food menu planned, prepared ahead of time and the house deep cleaned before my son is out of school for the holidays.

There is no “holiday break” for me. Once Landon is home, it’s pretty much full time caregiving for the next three weeks until he returns to school. I truly do try to maintain a positive outlook even in the hectic times. I usually tell myself if I could survive five months of Covid pandemic when school shut down, I can survive anything. Sometimes though, my humanity reveals itself. My husband’s recent health issues added to day to day life and Christmas chaos and wham…the stress hit me pretty hard.

Then one day I heard a teacher say “I’m so happy I’m on Christmas break. Now I get to relax.”

I immediately felt a sense of envy. I said to myself “must be nice, wonder what that’s like.” In that moment, I really wished for “a Christmas break.”

It was a momentary thought that left me feeling sad. I typically am not one to have a pity party, however, I truly longed for a break. Overwhelmed is an understatement for what I was feeling. I was exhausted.

I found myself saying “God, it’s not fair. Why can’t I have a break too?”

As I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit gently whisper, “go ahead, lie down, rest.”

So I listened.

It was the day before my son was out for Christmas holidays so I took advantage of the opportunity. I hopped up on to my extra soft bed, climbed under several blankets and closed my eyes. After a few minutes, my goldendoodle-Asher-who is my shadow- peeked over the edge of my bed and decided he needed to join me. He jumped right up onto my bed and parked himself beside me- his cream colored fur blending in with the heavy fleece blankets and quilts of the same color. Asher watched me with his knowing, brown eyes. He seemed to know I needed a break from the stress. He also seemed to know I needed a little lift and his joyful presence would do the trick. He was right. Asher just “gets me” what can I say. As I was looking at Asher piled in with me among the blankets, I felt peace slowly fill me.

In that moment, I felt God gently remind me that peace is one of the many reasons why He sent Jesus to us as a little baby many, many Christmases ago. In that moment, He reminded me His gift of peace is because of His immeasurable love for me and for you.

It’s because of His love that we can have rest and peace.

It’s because of His love that we can experience His comfort.

It’s because of His love that we are inspired to share love with others.

I don’t know what you are facing this Christmas. Maybe things are going well for you or maybe they are not. Whatever the case is, I pray you are able to rest even if it is only for a short time. I pray that as you do, God’s presence will fill your heart and mind with His peace. I pray you will experience his comfort and joy. I pray His love surrounds you and fills your heart to overflowing. As your heart is filled with these things, I pray you are inspired to share His love with all those around you. May you always know you are loved immeasurably by the Savior of the world who came to Earth as a tiny baby at Christmas.

May God bless each of you, friends, at Christmastime and always.

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. ( 2 Thessalonians 3:16)

Your friend,

Tiffany

Hidden Gifts

Matthew 25:14-29

14 For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servantand entrusted to them his property. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16 He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17 So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18 But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19 Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20 And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ 21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ 23 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27 Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28 So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

Recently, my daughter received a new-to-her armoire. Before we could put the new piece of furniture in her room, the old chest of drawers had to be removed. As I was going through the overflowing drawers, I uncovered a couple of interesting items among the clothes- three old checks and a very full piggy bank.

I immediately asked my daughter why she had not cashed the checks. She simply said “I forgot they were there.” (I don’t typically forget to deposit or cash a check if someone gives me one! 😂) Of course, my response was for us to go to the bank and try to cash or deposit the checks. When we arrived at the bank, walked inside and up to the teller, we asked about the checks. We were politely told that they could not deposit or cash checks which were more than six months old. So, the checks were now worthless. What had been valuable, had been stored and forgotten about and as a result was now worthless. Thankfully the checks were not written for large amounts, however, I hope my daughter learned something important that day. Needless to say we counted the money in her piggy bank and deposited a pretty substantial amount into her savings.

Back in August, I began a new part-time job. God opened doors and honestly led me to the job I have now working with babies in early intervention. I serve families and their precious little ones who have speech/language delays…some as result of a disability. I wouldn’t say I carelessly buried my ability for all these years- as I was raising and even homeschooling my children- but my speech pathology degree wasn’t exactly being used either.

Hidden gifts, forgotten treasure, buried talents.

As I have been working, scheduling my time has become a must! I have the largest planner one can buy, and I write all my appointments down. With a husband, three kids, 2 dogs, and a part time job, life can get pretty busy!

Recently, God gently reminded me to add a few more things to my schedule- setting aside time for regularly reading my Bible and getting back to the gym. He prompted me to actually write down the times in my planner like I would any other appointment. While I had been fairly consistent with my devotion time with God, my workout time had been pretty much non-existent until recently. While I’m in fairly good health, my 43-year-old metabolism is not what it was 20 years ago and I definitely need to lose some weight.

How does any of this relate or matter? It all has to do with being a good steward of what the Lord entrusts us with.

I want to use the knowledge and skills He’s allowed me to have to help others.

I want to wisely use the resources God’s blessed me with.

I want to take care of the earthly body He’s loaned me while I’m here.

I want to please my Heavenly Father with what He’s so generously loaned me.

Everything I have belongs to Him anyway. There are far more talented, intelligent, gifted, and beautiful individuals in the world, but for me, being a good steward over what God has kindly given me is one of the best ways to show Him how thankful I truly am.

Are you thankful for the knowledge, skills, and talents He’s lovingly loaned to you? If you haven’t been or maybe have forgotten to be, know that God isn’t mad. He’s simply patiently waiting for you to acknowledge the blessings He’s given you. It pleases Him to see you happy, using what you’ve been given to glorify Him.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Social Media Break

Theodore Roosevelt – “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

2 Corinthians 10:12,18

12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 18 For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

Sometimes we can be so stubborn, can’t we? I’d really been feeling like I should take a break from social media for months. You know how it can be though. You don’t want to miss anyone’s birthday, or any news, or exciting happenings. So you find yourself scrolling through the news feed and before you know it, you’ve wasted 45 minutes or more getting “caught up” on your “friends” lives. Maybe most of your social media friends are your real friends. But if I’m honest, mine aren’t. Yes, there are a few who I know would have my back, pray for me, and actually care about me. But then there are the rest. Some are acquaintances, some are just people who sent me a friend request, some are surveillance cameras, some are nosy, even fake friends, and there’s everything in between. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care enough about staying up on everyone’s lives to keep investing that much time on social media anymore.

I also made an interesting discovery. I noticed I feel worse after spending time on social media. Sometimes I feel just kinda generally down after scrolling. Other times I feel a short lived, “I’ve caught up let me check off that box feeling.” Other times, I feel actually hurt when my “friends” ignore me and constantly “like” other friends’ posts.

I know. Something so small and unimportant should not make me feel bad, but it does. So, I’ve made the very intentional, hopefully best for me decision to get off of social media for a while. It may be permanent, who knows. So what if I miss out on some “important” news. If someone is actually my friend, they will reach out to contact me. If I’m wanting to check up on a friend, I’ll contact them directly. This will not be a popular statement, but I’m sick of the social media craze. Humans need actual real life interactions, not some fake imitation and definitely not the fake friends.

I’m so much happier when I’m investing time in my family members, the little kids and families I’m blessed to work with on my job, and interacting with those the Lord brings across my path in one way or another. I’m thankful for the contentment and joy found when I listen to the Holy Spirit. Especially when I listen to and follow through with his gentle nudges. I love how He patiently loves us even when we are a little stubborn.

Blessings.

Your friend,

Tiffany