“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.

John 15:5-6

Today our pastor spoke about “roots and fruits.”  He talked about how Jesus is (or should be) our root. We are branches. The branches display fruit. The branches cannot produce fruit apart from the root. Our pastor asked what fruit do our lives display? Do we display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control? Or do we display hate, sadness, conflict, impatience, meanness, evil, disobedience, violence, being out of control or lack of discipline? 

Whenever we display negative fruit in our lives (fruit that is not in line with the character of Jesus), it means the behavior is coming from a bad root. Try as we might we cannot change or modify our behavior without first dealing with the root issue. We can’t do it on our own either. We have to become connected and remain connected to the best and only true root/source. That root is Jesus. 

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

John 15:4

So how do we do that? Disconnect from the things that are not good roots…ungodly influences in our life, or even bad habits, negative people, etc. 

I do want to point out that sometimes the bad roots we have in our lives may not be there because of something we’ve done wrong or a sin. Some trauma, abuse, bad relationships from the past could have caused a bad root to be present. Someone else could have caused it. We could have a health issue that cause some negative roots to crop up. Or there could be another cause of a bad root.

Regardless of where our roots come from, the answer is still the same: 

Abide in Jesus. 

Seek Him. 

 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

John 15:7-8

So what does that mean? Become aware of your attitudes and behaviors and ask the Lord to help remove any roots that shouldn’t be there.  Read the Bible, pray, sing praise and worship songs, attend church and develop friendships with like minded believers. 

One of my very favorite things to do is to picture Jesus in my mind. I imagine I’m looking into his kind, brown eyes and I talk to him. I imagine him listening intently, smiling, nodding and then kindly giving me helpful advice. Sometimes I imagine he just gives me a hug and holds me for awhile without giving me any advice. I know that he always knows exactly the type of response I need right when I need it. Best of all, He provides the most amazing love. That’s what it means to me to remain in Him and He in me. Why would I want to have any other source or root?

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

John 15:9-12

Now, I’m fully aware that we are imperfect humans. But Jesus knows that. That’s one of the reasons we have to stay connected to Him. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. And all the fruit we display in our lives gives a very good indication of how much of Him we have in our lives. 

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

John 15:13-15

I want to reflect who He is, definitely not who I am. We will always be a work in progress on this side of Heaven, but may we always seek to grow more and more in the true root.

Our true source.

Jesus. 

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit- fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

John 15:16-17

Your friend,

Tiffany

P.S. The following song, Abide In Me by Andrew Marcus, came on Pandora while I was listening and writing this blog. I felt like I should share it. Be blessed. 

I ran across the following today when I was taking a break from painting my kitchen cabinets. It does a pretty good job describing what so many awesome Mamas do day in and day out. It was refreshing to read and know that someone else out there understands and accurately put into words what we Mamas often feel. I know without a doubt Jesus is right there with me helping me through each and every moment! Also, I am reminded that it is okay and even good to rest…both physically and spiritually…And yes Moms, you are without a doubt superheros!!!!!

Via instagram.com/catandnat 

“Hey mom why are you so tired?” ⠀

Because. Because you are most likely the keeper of every emotion of all of your children and most likely your entire family, because you are most likely the sole organizer of your entire family’s doctors, dentist, ortho, dermatologist, tutors, haircuts, birthday parties, parent-teacher interviews and on and on and on. ⠀

⠀

You are most likely the keeper and maker of all the special moments, vacations and family times that they will store in their memory bank forever. Because you most likely take care of a house while simultaneously stress about bringing an income in to relieve the financial load in the house. ⠀

⠀

You most likely know what each and every one of your children is feeling and what they need without them having to utter a word but you can tell by their facial expression or response exactly what they need…..you are most likely the one that somehow manages to cram a full day of work into hours so you can cook dinner, help with homework, be their cheerleader, therapist, boo boo kisser and emotional trampoline. You are their emotional barometer for “ok”, even if you’re not you show up as if you are. ⠀

⠀

“Hey mom why are you so tired”, because you are the thread that holds it all together while barely holding yourself together but making it look like you have to all together for everyone else around you, because you don’t have the space or the time to not be together. ⠀

⠀

You are so tired because you wouldn’t change it for the world, ever. Every night, every mother knows this. ….The insane gratitude of checking on them as you crawl to your own bed after a more than insane day, wondering if they know how much you love them and if you did it ok. You will lie there and wonder how you can do better ….

⠀

But just so you know you are a dang freaking superhero, even if you’re more than slightly tired ❤️

Your friend,

Tiffany

It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help. 

-Epicurus

We recently spent some time at the lake with my parents. Landon absolutely loves the water, most of the time. (His autism does have a huge unpredictability factor so I am always ready for his possible aversion/ meltdown/sensory overload tantrum even if he normally likes a certain activity. 😊 Go with the flow is my motto with him.) 

So anyway, Landon LOVES water, but he doesn’t always like what it takes to get to experience it. We have to change from regular clothes to the swimsuit. We have to put on sunscreen (which he hates) and put on the dreaded water shoes (which he hates even more). Usually he won’t keep the water shoes on for more than a couple of minutes. 

There is a major problem with that however …. “porkies.” 

You may be wondering what exactly “porkies” are. I’m so glad you asked. 😊 “Porkies” is the term Landon uses for the little thorn-like, tiny round sticky spurweed which grow in the grass. Unfortunately there are many, many porkies around the lake. Landon knows this, but yet he abhors his water shoes. He’s pretty smart though. His solution to this is simple- hitch piggy back rides down to the lake- that way he completely avoids porkies! He knows Mama, Baba, Daddy or whomever is around, will give him a ride to get him to his beloved water which he usually, but not always, enjoys. “Get on back, please,” he says.

Porkies. We all have some porkies we have to deal with in life.  Sometimes the porkies are little obstacles between us and our goal. They are mixed in among the good things in life and remind us that we live in an imperfect world, which is not our true home. Sometimes when we step on one, it really hurts and we want to avoid the area. Sometimes we don’t want to wear our water shoes to protect ourselves from the porkies and we end up with a whole bunch stuck in our feet. Sometimes though we ask for help from a friend or from the Lord or maybe even both to get us past the porkies. We put away our pride and humbly ask to “get on back please” like Landon does. 

I think sometimes that is exactly what we are meant to do. It is almost a relief to finally say “hey, I need a little help here.” It’s both a freeing and humbling experience when we realize we can’t do everything ourselves and we ask for assistance in dealing with our problem.

I don’t know about you, but my life often feels full of “porkies” and I don’t always ask for help. Maybe you are the same way.  Landon reminds me that is okay to have a little help being carried over the sticky spurweed life often provides.

 Porkies will always be present in life while we are on this earth, but Jesus wants us to know it’s totally okay to ask Him and others for help. We are created to need Jesus and others in this life. Often our porkies don’t seem so bad as long we know a friend is there helping us along the way. Then before we know it, it’ll be our turn to give someone a piggy back ride. 😊

I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than alone in the light. 

-Hellen Keller

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.

-Ed Cunningham

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Ecclesiastes 4:10

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I recently had a conversation with my two older children about God’s character, specifically love. The conversation started when one of the kids was discussing sin. 

My middle child said “People need to be made to not sin and also made to stop sinning if they do.”

My older child said “No, God gave people a free will and a choice to decide if they want to sin or not.”

I said:

How did Jesus respond to sin? Did he say it was okay to sin or ignore the sin?

No of course not. He would often say “Your sins are forgiven or go and sin no more.”

He did not harshly condemn people. (He did get angry with the folks selling items in His Father’s house and turned over some tables. 😊) 

As far as dealing with individuals (who were sinners) he exhibited grace and truth always with LOVE. He did not give them what they deserved or treat them with contempt. He would often say he forgave their sin and say “I don’t condemn you” or “go and sin no more.”

What better example is there of love? 

There are so many people in the world who want to cast judgement on others. Many times they are forgetting that they, too, have made their own mistakes and deem others as worse than themselves.

Whenever I see someone struggling with a sin or just having a hard time in life, my own weaknesses and circumstances (trust me there are many) immediately cause me to ask myself “I wonder what they are going through right now?”

What have they had to face in their life that made them this way? 

And finally, how can I show them Jesus’ love? 

Love. 

That is the answer. Love extends grace and tells the truth. Biblical truths will never be received by others if we don’t first extend grace and love. 

Like Jesus. 

For some reason, I find it easy to extend grace and love to others. 

I guess I see my own imperfections so clearly and am fully aware of the harshness and difficulty life can often present to us. That, combined with a love for Jesus, help me to want to please Him and not be separated from Him because of a sin. And to consciously want to show Jesus’ love to others in my very far from perfect life. 

His love.

That is really all the matters. If we truly love Him and others, the other things will fall into place. 

Love is my focus because it was Jesus’ focus.

Your friend,

Tiffany

John 3:17

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

Ephesians 4:2

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Romans 13:8

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

Just wanted to say thank you to all the awesome authors who create amazing, encouraging posts here on WordPress. It is truly uplifting to me to read your thoughts, especially Biblical, spiritual truths. My heart is full. ❤️ Thank you so much for doing what you do! If no one has reminded you lately of what an amazing gift your writing is to others, let this be your reminder! The Lord sees your effort and sacrifice. Thank you so much for giving. ❤️

Your friend,

Tiffany

This is an excerpt from an article I read today by David Powlison. It was actually an article about friendship in marriage, but much of it can apply to friendship in general:

Friendship has qualities of, I’m for you. I’m your friend. I care about you. I’m willing to be candid with you. There’s an interchange, there’s a, I can share with you what’s on my mind. I can share with you why I’m struggling. Ask your counsel, your advice, your prayers, or just so you know, so I’m not bearing it alone. 

One of my favorite quotations is from the 17th century essayist Francis Bacon. He says that, “Those who lack a friend in which to unburden their heart become cannibals of their own hearts.” 

And to be able to share openly with one’s friend, it redoubles joys and it cuts griefs in half. So, there’s a sense of friendship as a place where we’re able to let another person in on our lives, and what matters to us….

Your friend,

Tiffany

Recently, I had a couple of people tell me that they thought I “had it all together.” I think I was torn between disbelief and laughter while thinking how kind those individuals are! I’m sure whatever they saw was totally God’s grace because I can assure you that there really isn’t any area of my life where things are perfect! Really. 

I’ll be honest. At times I am uncertain what to share about my life and struggles that I face or have faced. I don’t want to come across as negative or like God isn’t good or hasn’t blessed my life. Yet, I want to be real and honest. If I’ve ever come across as perfect, then I definitely need to change something!

A couple of weeks ago, Landon got a note home saying he was becoming more aggressive at school. It made me so sad. It took the wind out of my sails. I mean we try every medication, every behavior technique, every prayer, and yet here we are facing yet another battle with autism. I didn’t publicly complain about it. Then a couple of days later Landon flooded the master bathroom and bedroom by leaving a sink running while the drain was closed….it ran for hours. I asked myself what I could do. I asked God what I could do. He said “encourage others.” So, that is what I did.

Many times I ask God how to take the hurt and the pain of life (any area not just problems with Landon) and use it for good somehow. Unfortunately, I am human and I may be coming across like I have it all together, but I don’t. I really, really don’t. Feel free to ask if you want to know more. 

Recently the verse from 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 kept coming to mind. Paul wrote it. I always wonder what his “thorn in the flesh” was. Whatever it was, God never removed it. He said “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I literally have been reminding myself multiple times a day that “His Grace is sufficient for me, that His power is made perfect in weakness.” Definitely not someone who has it all together, right? 

Ultimately, I pray that Jesus and His love are the things that really show in my life. Nothing else. 

Not problems. 

Not perfection. 

Only Jesus. 

Only His love. 

That’s my prayer.

Your friend,

Tiffany