I ran across this “cup of tea” quote on my Facebook memories today.  Such truth and wisdom in those words. When we realize not everyone will “like us” or are even meant to, it can be very freeing. 

This quote inspired me to think a little deeper today, however. It made me think about how we don’t even have to have the “right people” to love us to have value. We are fully and immensely loved just as we are. We need to love ourselves as God loves us. 

I forget that sometimes. Not that I don’t realize God loves me, but at times I get so busy taking care of and encouraging others that I forget to whisper to myself “hey you are loved, too, and you are doing an amazing job.”

I love words. I’m a words of affirmation person all day, every day. Nothing is quite like a sweet note, card, or inspiring story poem, or scripture to me. But I sometimes forget to let it sink all the way into my heart and remind myself of the encouragement when I need to. God never forgets to encourage us though. We just have to listen for His sweet whisper and even speak those words of encouragement over ourselves when we feel we can’t hear them. We don’t have to wait for someone else to do that for us. Whether we have wonderfully encouraging people in our lives or not, God is constantly there reminding us of His love for us in scripture and in prayer.

So my takeaway from this cup of tea quote today is:

Encourage and love yourself the way God does whether or not you have an encouraging tribe of people in your corner. Be other people’s cheerleader, but don’t forget to be your own also. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved because none of us are. Never ever forget you are cherished and loved just as you are. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Everyone has something they absolutely despise. Something they hate worse than anything else. A dreaded occurrence. For me that occurrence is the stomach virus. I would do almost anything not to throw up. I’d rather be in most other types of physical pain, even, than throw up. Maybe it seems silly to some, but for me that is one of the top worst events!

Of course I’m bringing this up because as you might imagine…we recently had the stomach virus at our house. It appears that Landon escaped the virus, but everyone else in the household had their turn. While lying in bed sick, I was thinking of how helpless I felt, but how others are going through things much worse than a 24-hour virus! 

I also thought about how our value to God never changes no matter what condition we are in. Completely helpless or completely healthy, we are loved no less by the Lord. He reminded me that He doesn’t value us because of what we can accomplish, whether we are sick or not, we are simply valued and loved because we are His. If God loved us based on what we accomplished, who was smarter, who was prettier, who was wealthier, and who was healthier, He would have favorites, and He doesn’t! We are just as loved in bed sick with the stomach virus as we are at our best checking off our to do lists with makeup on and our hair fixed.  God never changes, even though our circumstances do and always will. I love that He is our never changing constant in our ever changing circumstances and life. He’ll never love us any less and I love that. ❤️

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

I just read the following devotion today from Love Like That by Dr. Les Parrott (YouVersion Bible App). It’s such a good reminder that we can’t give what we don’t have. If we never receive God’s grace, we won’t be able to give His love. ❤️❤️❤️ God’s grace is the proof of His love for us.

Grace-Full

We seem to be on a cosmic quest to establish our value—to prove it, earn it, deserve it. And once we find what we’re looking for, we relax—but only momentarily. Eventually, the people we are pleasing—whether a parent, a spouse, a friend, an advisory board, or an audience—quit sending us love messages. Ultimately we find ourselves back on our endless quest. And that unfulfilling quest makes it nearly impossible to love like Jesus. Why? Because we can’t give grace to others when we aren’t receiving it ourselves. When we’re busy earning acceptance from God, we start to think everyone else should earn it too. Judgmentalism creeps in. Self-righteousness appears.

If you want to be a better grace-giver, you’ve got to continually and consciously receive the grace God gives you. “Whoever has been forgiven only a little,” Jesus said, “loves only a little.” The more grace we receive, the more love we give. When we aren’t cognizant of God’s unconditional acceptance in our own lives, we can’t give it to others. Judgmentalism sees to that.

Here’s the truth: God’s grace is received, not achieved. Grace does not depend on what we have done for God but rather what God has done for us. And continually receiving God’s grace—in the deepest and most central parts of our beings—is the only true and lasting remedy to ugly judgments and holier-than-thou attitudes. “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable,” said C. S. Lewis, “because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Love is not the cause of grace. It’s the proof of it. When we are conscious of God’s grace in our own lives, we are automatically more loving and accepting of others. I’m not naive about our judgments. I don’t think it’s possible to live a life where we never judge anyone, ever. But once you embrace God’s grace, once you raise your consciousness around this gift you are continually given, you get immeasurably closer to loving like Jesus. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Today my blog-youvegotafriend- is 3 years old! When I started it, I didn’t know if I would continue writing long term…but here we are! In honor of my blog’s third birthday, I’ve posted three blogs this week, this one, Good Gifts, and Let It Be Me. I’m also posting the following song by Third Day (because of the blog’s third year…haha…okay corny joke I know…but it is a good song). I hope you enjoy it.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I love how God will send you little bits of encouragement when you really need it.  Today that encouragement for me came when Landon’s doctor called me and talked to me about applying for disability for Landon. She said it seemed like we would have a pretty good shot at it based on his medical need. 

You might be saying, what? How is that good? 

If you don’t have a severely disabled or special needs person in your life, this might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Landon requires full time care and actually needs way more intensive therapies than we can afford. He qualifies for them. He has been approved for them. But then at the last minute everything falls through, simply because insurance won’t cover it. And we would have to pay out of pocket, private pay for 30 hours per week of therapy. So it doesn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. 

But today, Landon’s  doctor gave us the go ahead to proceed with this process of applying for his disability. What I’m about to say might sound like a negative statement. Or the following may sound like a person who doesn’t have faith. But it is neither. It is simply a factual statement. 

The statement is this:

Landon requires 24/7 intensive caretaking and unless Jesus does a miracle, he always will. 

He has needed special care the first 8 years of his life, he requires it currently, and it will be a necessity in his future. (Can God work a miracle? Absolutely!!! And we pray for this daily!!!) But if the miracle doesn’t happen, the fact remains that he needs care.

Back to what I said earlier. Today I had a glimmer of encouragement and hope when the doctor told us that Landon would more than likely qualify for disability based on his medical need. His medical needs would be able to be met and they really haven’t been the past 8 years. Oh we’ve tried. We’ve been in occupational therapy, speech therapy, self contained special classroom, tried many medications, tried natural supplements, tried dietary modifications, tried different exercises/activities, been evaluated more than once for applied behavioral analysis therapy, and on and on. 

Even if we get disability funding and Landon makes zero progress ever, one thing he will have is financial assistance. He will have that support and hopefully before he is an adult. We are totally aware that his disability application may get denied several times before it is approved. But in my heart,  I believe that he will get this assistance before he is an adult. That is my goal. To do whatever I can to make sure he is taken care of and that we have given it and him our all navigating this “black hole of autism”and disability. 

Now if you don’t have a child with a severe disability like we do, you might not be able to relate to all of the above, but if you are a parent, I’m sure you long for your child to have what they need in life. You want them to be provided for and given the best opportunities at a successful life. 

God is that way with us. He wants to give us good gifts. Even if we are belligerent and difficult and non-compliant. Even if we don’t communicate with him, throw tantrums, and give him nothing but bad behavior, He still wants to provide good things for us, to care for us, to love us. Like we care for and love Landon. I’m thankful for that kind of love.

Matthew 7:11

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Matthew 6:25-34

Therefore I tell you, do not worry(B) about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.(C) Are you not much more valuable than they?(D) 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?(E)28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor(F) was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?(G) 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.(H) 33 But seek first his kingdom(I) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.(J) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Totally just discovered the song “Let It Be Me” by Ray LaMontagne recently. It’s kinda like a more melancholy “Lean on Me.” I really like it. It’s from the perspective of a friend telling another friend to “let me be the one you reach out to when you’re in need.” Super good. The world needs more people who are willing to be that type of a friend. I’m sure Jesus was that kind of a friend when He was here on this Earth and He still is. I’m glad He’s the one we can run to, talk to, cry with, and love. ❤️

Your friend,

Tiffany