Having It All Together…Not!

Recently, I had a couple of people tell me that they thought I “had it all together.” I think I was torn between disbelief and laughter while thinking how kind those individuals are! I’m sure whatever they saw was totally God’s grace because I can assure you that there really isn’t any area of my life where things are perfect! Really. 

I’ll be honest. At times I am uncertain what to share about my life and struggles that I face or have faced. I don’t want to come across as negative or like God isn’t good or hasn’t blessed my life. Yet, I want to be real and honest. If I’ve ever come across as perfect, then I definitely need to change something!

A couple of weeks ago, Landon got a note home saying he was becoming more aggressive at school. It made me so sad. It took the wind out of my sails. I mean we try every medication, every behavior technique, every prayer, and yet here we are facing yet another battle with autism. I didn’t publicly complain about it. Then a couple of days later Landon flooded the master bathroom and bedroom by leaving a sink running while the drain was closed….it ran for hours. I asked myself what I could do. I asked God what I could do. He said “encourage others.” So, that is what I did.

Many times I ask God how to take the hurt and the pain of life (any area not just problems with Landon) and use it for good somehow. Unfortunately, I am human and I may be coming across like I have it all together, but I don’t. I really, really don’t. Feel free to ask if you want to know more. 

Recently the verse from 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 kept coming to mind. Paul wrote it. I always wonder what his “thorn in the flesh” was. Whatever it was, God never removed it. He said “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I literally have been reminding myself multiple times a day that “His Grace is sufficient for me, that His power is made perfect in weakness.” Definitely not someone who has it all together, right? 

Ultimately, I pray that Jesus and His love are the things that really show in my life. Nothing else. 

Not problems. 

Not perfection. 

Only Jesus. 

Only His love. 

That’s my prayer.

Your friend,

Tiffany

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