Recently, I had a couple of people tell me that they thought I “had it all together.” I think I was torn between disbelief and laughter while thinking how kind those individuals are! I’m sure whatever they saw was totally God’s grace because I can assure you that there really isn’t any area of my life where things are perfect! Really.
I’ll be honest. At times I am uncertain what to share about my life and struggles that I face or have faced. I don’t want to come across as negative or like God isn’t good or hasn’t blessed my life. Yet, I want to be real and honest. If I’ve ever come across as perfect, then I definitely need to change something!
A couple of weeks ago, Landon got a note home saying he was becoming more aggressive at school. It made me so sad. It took the wind out of my sails. I mean we try every medication, every behavior technique, every prayer, and yet here we are facing yet another battle with autism. I didn’t publicly complain about it. Then a couple of days later Landon flooded the master bathroom and bedroom by leaving a sink running while the drain was closed….it ran for hours. I asked myself what I could do. I asked God what I could do. He said “encourage others.” So, that is what I did.
Many times I ask God how to take the hurt and the pain of life (any area not just problems with Landon) and use it for good somehow. Unfortunately, I am human and I may be coming across like I have it all together, but I don’t. I really, really don’t. Feel free to ask if you want to know more.
Recently the verse from 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 kept coming to mind. Paul wrote it. I always wonder what his “thorn in the flesh” was. Whatever it was, God never removed it. He said “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I literally have been reminding myself multiple times a day that “His Grace is sufficient for me, that His power is made perfect in weakness.” Definitely not someone who has it all together, right?
Ultimately, I pray that Jesus and His love are the things that really show in my life. Nothing else.
Only His love.
That’s my prayer.