(Originally shared last year on 2/1/21.)

I know I share a lot about autism and yes it is probably because we deal with it on a daily basis. I wanted to share the following, not because I feel sorry for myself or because we’re having a harder time than usual dealing with Landon’s disability. I wanted to share it because I think it’s a pretty profound and very good example of how it feels to live with a child with autism. I’ve honestly never heard such a good analogy. The analogy is “having a child with autism is like living in the movie Groundhog Day.”

Awhile back I began reading a book which was recommended to Murry and I called Wrestling With An Angel (Greg Lucas). It is an excellent book written by a police officer who has a severely disabled son. If you are interested in seeing what it really is like living with a child with a disability, this is a great book to read. (Note: This is not a feel good book and kinda heavy, but very authentic and you might need some Kleenex if you do read it.) I guess the Groundhog Day analogy is a bit more light-hearted but super good and true!

A family member sent us the Welcome to Holland Poem awhile back and Murry wrote the following after reading the poem. I thought it was so good!!! Raising a child with autism is almost identical to living in Groundhog Day each and every day. We are so thankful for the encouragement, prayers, help and support we have received along this journey of having a child with a disability.

The following is what Murry wrote:

If you haven’t read WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley, I encourage you to read the long unabridged version. It is really good. 

However, I would liken our autism experience allegorically (not exactly of course) to Punxsutawney PA… specifically in the movie Groundhog Day. It is never a vacation… Holland or Italy doesn’t exist.  You are there to work. Like in the movie you realize that you were meant to learn that it isn’t about you and your dreams… you were meant to help others.   

Yet, in this world you learn that you will always be stuck in the same day even if you learn your lesson… whatever it is. Lol..  Knowing you will never see Holland or Italy… you are always in Punxsutawney. 

There are a lot of good things. You learn to play piano (or musical chairs), take CPR (literally for your child’s sake), save other people falling from trees (or autism panic and in other dark places)… hoping that you will do your part leading people to Heaven than you otherwise would. 

Also there are great people in Punxsutawney that are loving and helpful. But most of those people don’t know they are in Groundhog Day. Only those who are also living with a child with autism. 

If you know of someone who needs encouragement or someone to talk to please call a Christian who has a child with autism. We have had those people in our lives. They are always encouraging, always finding God in everything, and NOT always having the all answers… but knowing that He does. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

I read the following devotion yesterday and thought it was so good. It isn’t easy, but so many times we need to “hug our hardship” or like the devotion is titled “kiss the wave.” Whatever the obstacle is in your life, instead of fighting against it, go ahead and embrace it and allow it to teach you and change you for the better.

Habit 2: “Kiss the Wave”

The great preacher Charles Spur­geon, who suffered from depression and anxiety, said, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” That is easier said than done, no doubt. But that is how spiritual growth happens. 

A few years ago, my wife, Lora, was diagnosed with cancer. Not long after, she came across a question in a piece of poetry: what have you come to teach me? It’s a difficult question to ask, but the answer might revolutionize your life! 

There is a God who can rebuke the wind and the waves with these words: “Peace, be still.” But before you rebuke the storm, you need to accept it. You can’t move past the pain if you ignore it or hide it or deny it. You have to confront the brutal facts with unwavering faith. 

Our ability to remember the past is a gift from God, but it comes with a caveat. We don’t always remember accurately. This fact reminds us that memory is both selective and subjective. As such, it can be a blessing and a curse. When we remember yesterday the wrong way, we live a lie. And living a lie undermines our ability to win the day. 

Sometimes we misremember—or try to forget—because the past can be incredibly painful. That’s where the second habit—kiss the wave—comes into play. You’ve got to own the past, or the past will own you. 

How? You have to accurately inventory your past, hiding from nothing. Then you have to own all of it—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is what it is. Or maybe I should say, it is what it was. You may not be re­sponsible for what happened, but you are response-able. 

Two people can encounter the same obstacle—a difficult diagno­sis, a bitter divorce, or even the death of a loved one—yet come out on the other side, very different people. One person owns his or her pain, while the other person is owned by it. One person becomes better, while the other person becomes bitter. 

The difference? You’ve got to kiss the wave that throws you against the Rock of Ages. You’ve got to come to terms with the pain that has made you who you are.

It’s time to kiss the wave!

Think on this: The obstacle is not the enemy; the obstacle is the way.

~Mark Batterson,Win the Day, An 8-Day Reading Plan 

James 1:2-4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Your friend,

Tiffany

So Landon had a dentist appointment today to get his teeth cleaned. When we got there, Landon pulled off his shoes and socks. If you know Landon, you know that he despises shoes, socks, and basically clothes in general. We were waiting in the van, so it wasn’t a huge deal that he took them off until I had to find both socks and both shoes. How can a child lose both socks and shoes in a van with all windows and doors closed you might ask? Let’s just say Landon is the master of losing things/hiding things. He drops jewelry in boots, throws random kitchen utensils under his bed and throws clothes into the garbage can. Today he stuffed just one sock in the very corner of a pocket of a seat in the van. I’m frantically looking for it because you can’t very well take a child outside in the 30 degree weather without both socks and both shoes. I search in every nook and cranny until I finally found the missing sock. I’m not sure what the dental hygienist thought as she waited for me to put Landon’s shoes and socks on. Maybe she thought I’m just a scatterbrained mom. Maybe she thought Landon needs more discipline. Who knows. I do know that I no longer get embarrassed by the things Landon does or the way he acts. But I do get tired. And today was exhausting.

So we get checked into the dentist, had our temperature taken, hand sanitizer applied and walk to the big back room where there are several dentist chairs. Our hygienist is so sweet. She had seen Landon last time and she kindly asked us if Landon would prefer the spin brush or a regular toothbrush. I told her we use a spin brush at home, but told her he hates to see us coming with a toothbrush period, although we have brushed his teeth everyday for most of his life. (He is seven). 

So she gets out the spin brush and Landon grabs her hand and begins jerking and screaming and rips the disposable plastic off the chair in an effort to avoid the toothbrush. I’m doing my best to hold him down. Of course the scene causes the dentist to walk over and kindly suggest we move to a private room. So we pack up and move to another room. Take two. 

Landon knows what is going on now but of course you can’t reason with him. All he knows is one of the activities he hates the most is about to happen again. We believe Landon’s sensory issues get thrown in overdrive at times and toothbrushing is one of the causes. But he has to have his teeth brushed. Every. Single. Day. And here we are at the dentist hoping that the daily brushing is keeping his teeth and gums healthy.

So Landon starts resisting again and it takes myself and the hygienist to hold Landon down while the dentist cleans his teeth with a regular toothbrush. Through the screaming tantrum, the dentist is able to get Landon’s teeth cleaned without having a finger bitten off. 

Afterwards, she tells us he has another cavity, his gums have some gingivitis. We have to come back in a couple of weeks to treat the cavity and his older cavities with a type of stabilizing material so that the baby teeth can “last” until he gets his permanent teeth in. But she says if he gets cavities in his permanent teeth, we are looking at a visit to the operating room to fill the cavities.

Our daily attempts at brushing Landon’s teeth have not had the positive outcome we hoped for. As I sat there, exhausted from holding him down, I felt discouraged.  The efforts we had taken in keeping Landon’s teeth healthy had been futile up to this point. I didn’t know what to do and still don’t. But a verse came to my mind when I felt so frustrated. 

Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

I don’t have all the answers. But I know Who does. And yes I do get tired, but I can’t faint and lose heart. The verse doesn’t say we might reap a harvest/benefit if we continue to do good it says we WILL. I have to hang on to that promise with Landon. I have to pray daily not to lose heart. I have to believe for good things to happen even when I can’t see it yet. I have to be faithful in doing good. 

Maybe this verse is for someone else today, too. If I can keep on keeping on, I know you can too. Don’t lose heart. Keep doing good. One day you will reap a blessing for it.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I shared the following yesterday on Facebook and they deleted it! Ridiculous! I shared it again because it is good! Thought I’d share it on my own site, too. I didn’t write it, just shared it from a friend. 

🙌🙌Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers, and Peters🙌🙌

Don’t feel sorry for or fear for your kids because the world they are going to grow up in is not what it used to be.

God created them and called them for the exact moment in time that they are in. Their life wasn’t a coincidence or an accident. 

Raise them up to know the power they will walk in as children of God. 

Train them up in the authority of His Word. 

Teach them to walk in faith knowing that God is in control. 

Empower them to know they can change the world. 

Don’t teach them to be fearful and disheartened by the state of the world but hopeful that they can do something about it. 

Every person in all of history has been placed in the time that they were in because of God’s sovereign plan. 

He knew Daniel could handle the lions’ den. 

He knew David could handle Goliath. 

He knew Esther could handle Haman. 

He knew Peter could handle persecution. 

He knows that your child can handle whatever challenge they face in their life. He created them specifically for it! 

Don’t be scared for your children, but be honored that God chose YOU to parent them! Teach them God’s love and to share it with everyone! 

Rise up to the challenge. 

Raise Daniels, Davids, Esthers and Peters!  💪🏼

God isn’t scratching His head wondering what He’s going to do with this mess of a world. 

He has an army He’s raising up to drive back the darkness and make Him known all over the earth!!!

Don’t let YOUR fear steal the greatness God placed in them. 

I know it’s hard to imagine them as anything besides our sweet little babies, and we just want to protect them from anything that could ever be hard on them, but they were born for such a time as this.

I’ve heard several people recently mention their word for the year. My first thought was, how cool! My next thought was that I didn’t have a “word for the year.” So I started praying about it. Almost immediately, the word purpose came to my mind. So, I looked up the definition of purpose.

The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. 

Purpose. I love the definition above for this word. There have been many times when I was uncertain about my purpose. Maybe because I couldn’t understand situations in my life. Maybe because I couldn’t see a tangible “result” in the natural world, in day to day life. It may seem a little strange, but as soon as the word purpose came to my mind, a sense of assurance came with it. Like God was saying “yes, trust me, rest assured that I’ve got you.” No, I didn’t have some huge revelation of some very important job or accomplishment I would do, but more like a gentle nudge of encouragement from the Lord to “keep on keeping on, that each day is not wasted if I’m living if for Him.” We don’t always have answers to questions, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have purpose and direction in our lives.

If you don’t have a “word for the year”, I encourage you to pray about it and see what the Lord reveals to you.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Your friend,

Tiffany

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hD0NDUlWHjeGAvDUmczcZJ7tSI8bsGf6/view?usp=drivesdk

Story behind the song: ‘Oh How he Loves you and Me’

Lindsay Terry, email lindsay976@earthlink.net.

Posted Sep 9, 2016 at 12:05 AM

Kurt Kaiser is one of the greatest musicians Christianity has ever known.

For more than 40 years, his name has been synonymous with Christian keyboard artistry, songwriting, conducting and arranging. He received an honorary doctorate of sacred music from Trinity College in Illinois and an honorary doctorate of humane letters from Baylor University in Waco, Texas.

Kaiser was born in the “Windy City,” Chicago, Illinois, in 1934. He said, “I was 7 years old when one Sunday evening we were all gathered around the piano in the living room of our home, singing, as was our custom each week. I began having a real urge from the spirit of God to know him and to give my heart and life to Christ. My mother went with me to my bedroom, and we knelt down by the bed and I accepted Christ into my life.”

From the young age of 4, he had private piano teachers. This continued throughout his high school years and on through college. It was not until 1969, that he got the opportunity to try his hand at serious writing. Kaiser has now written more than 400 songs.

Following is his account of the writing of his most popular song:

“Through the years I have been in the habit of keeping my ears tuned to things that people say, a phrase that may give me an idea for a song. I’ll write it down quickly. Occasionally, I will pull these things out and look at them. One day I came across this line, “Oh how he loves you and me,” and I wrote it down. I remember very well writing it across the top of a piece of manuscript paper, and that’s all I had.”

“In 1975, I sat down to think about that phrase and the whole song quickly came to me. I could not have spent more than 10 or 15 minutes writing the whole of it. That’s how rapidly it all came, the lyrics and the melody together. I sent it off to secure a copyright. I could not believe what came back in the mail.”

“The Copyright Office in Washington said that there was not enough original lyric to warrant the granting of a copyright. I was extremely disappointed because I knew the song was very singable. A couple of days went by and I decided to write a companion verse, or a second set of lyrics. I sent it back to Washington, and this time I got the copyright.”

“Oh How He Loves You and Me” has traveled far and wide and into the hearts of millions of people. Many hymnals and chorus books have included it, as well as numerous choral collections. In the opinion of this writer, the second set of lyrics, or the second verse gives marvelous support to the original song. The message Jesus to Calvary did go… showing just how much he loves you and me, is truly soul-stirring.

“And we have known and believed

the love that God hath to us. God is love;

and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God,

and God in him.” -1 John 4:16

Your friend,

Tiffany

This morning I sat down and prayed about what to write and immediately two thoughts came to mind. The first thought was the song “Come Like You Promised,” which we sang in church on Sunday. When we got to the part that says “you violently chase me down to embrace me, engulf me in who you are” the image of Jesus chasing after me became so clear. In my mind’s eye, He wouldn’t let me out of His sight. Not because He was mad, but because He loved me. He wanted to hug me, hold me, be with me, take care of me, and help me become like Him. That’s it. That’s all He wanted.

Jesus loves each of us that way. I wish those that are far from Jesus could understand this and accept His love. This world is so full of evil, hatred, hurt and pain and all the things that are the opposite of who God is.

Which leads me to the second thought I had when I was praying about what to write. I was thinking about vessels.  What is a vessel? I found a few definitions:

1. A ship or large boat.
2. A hollow container, especially one used to hold liquid, such as a bowl or cask.
3. (Botany) any of the tubular structures in the vascular system of a plant, serving to conduct water and mineral nutrients from the root.

My definition of vessel was a container which often has a substance poured into it, then is poured out at the appropriate time. To me a vessel is just a container, nothing too special by itself. But what it is filled with, and what it’s purpose is, gives the vessel its value.

The vessel never stays stagnant or the same. It’s pretty much constantly going through a cycle. 

1. It is being filled. 
2. It is holding something. 
3. Then that something is poured out.  

It’s kind of like rain clouds. The clouds accumulate moisture. They contain or hold the moisture for a time. Then when they are full, the rain pours out of them. 

We are very much like that. We are vessels. We are constantly accumulating information from our environment. A lot of it we choose ourselves, we store, and sooner or later it will come out of us. 

Hopefully we are receiving more Godly rather than worldly input which we receive into our mind and process for a time. But at some point we have to pour out what we have inside of us. Hopefully what God reveals to us. 

Also if we pour out and use all we have, we need to be able to go get more. From where? From spending time with the Lord, from church, Godly friends, The Bible, Godly music, etc. We continually have to receive from Him and become full of Him, then share his Word, His Spirit with others, then return and read more of His Word, immerse ourselves in Him and He will reveal more of Him to us each time.

We can’t soak in the wrong things or the wrong things will come out of us. Look at the world! What is pouring out of so many? Sadly, hate, violence, evil, basically the opposite of what and who God is. It is heartbreaking to see all of the division and anger. We have to be careful and not become full of the negative that is in the world without having it pour out of us. We have to soak in God’s truth and be filled with his Word and His Spirit so that we will be able to share good, Godly truth with others. 

You might ask, well when does that leave me time for rest, hobbies, work etc? I think the answer is in the “being filled time”. We can pray while we are exercising, playing golf, deer hunting, reading His Word. Even at work we can pray short, sincere prayers and listen for the Lord’s voice to keep the lines of communication open. He will guide us to who He wants us to speak to and what He wants us to do. After spending time with God and “being filled”, we should “pour out” and share all that He has given us with others. Then repeat the steps. Again, and again, and again. 

So what are we sharing with others? You might be thinking “quoting scriptures or hearing a sermon” is not what people want to hear. How about starting with sharing the Fruit of the Spirit that is supposed to be inside of you? Can we show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to others? Maybe we can show some of that by listening to another’s problems, encouraging someone who is down, being a friend to them. Then we can share our testimony, share scripture, etc. This world is hurting and needs the Love of Christ. 

As vessels, we will more than likely be using the gifts the Lord has given us, and honestly feel most fulfilled. Sometimes it is easy to focus on what we can’t do, but instead we should focus on strengths that we do have and share those! Everyone has a gift. It is probably something that comes naturally to you, that you take for granted. You may even say to yourself, anyone can do this or that, but they probably can’t or don’t, because they don’t have your gift! You are unique!  God picked your gift just for you!! He wants you to use it…for Him!

We can’t truly be satisfied if we are resting, playing, or always “being filled ourselves”.  We will get burned out quickly if we constantly work and pour out all the time without ever receiving from the Lord. However, we will be most fulfilled being a vessel which goes through all three phases: receiving, containing, and pouring out and then repeating the process. That puts us on our way to hearing the words “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” That helps us fix our eyes on Him and run our race with purpose and without distraction. That brings the Lord’s presence to our lives and keeps it there. I believe we are nearer and nearer to the return of Christ. He is chasing after you, simply to love you. He wants to fill you with His love and fruit of the Spirit so you can be a vessel to this world that so desperately needs Jesus.

Sam: It’s all wrong

By rights we shouldn’t even be here.

But we are.

It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.

~Samwise Gamgee

(J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers)

My family was watching Lord of The Rings during the holidays and one scene really stood out to me. It was in the second movie- The Two Towers. After a battle, Frodo had Samwise pinned down with a sword at his throat before realizing it was his dear friend. Sam starts talking about all the losses they had faced but there was hope for a better day. It reminded me of this year, 2020, this battle. It also reminded me of every battle or trial anyone faces. Sam talks about holding on because of the good that is in this world. While that is true, there is good in this world, I think I would add to Sam’s speech that the best reason to fight the good fight now is for the world to come, which is Heaven our true home. The Hope we have in Jesus is the reason to hold on.

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

I was recently thinking about those who are feeling loss this Christmas. Maybe a loved one passed away this year. I know several who have lost loved ones this year. Maybe some are facing loneliness because they do not have close family. Maybe some are struggling financially and will have very little if anything from “Santa” this year. Even with the craziness of this year, many of us have more than enough food, family, and material things and we take it for granted that everyone has the same. So we post our fun holiday memes and cute Christmas pictures and that is okay, but what if we were the ones scrolling through Facebook grieving the loss of a loved one, not having enough to make ends meet, facing a serious illness, or feeling lonely? I’m not saying we should feel guilty for all of the blessings that we have, but what if we stop for a moment and pray for someone we know is hurting. Maybe reach out to someone who has lost a family member. Make some cookies for someone. Call or text someone who God lays on our heart to reach out to. Have a meaningful conversation with someone. To me, that is truly Christmas and the heart of who Christ is. When I sat down to write this, the Max Lucado book “You Are Special” came to mind. It’s one of my favorite children’s books. I’ve shared it before, but thought I’d share it again. It’s a reminder that each person is specially made by the Creator and highly valued, no matter if they are valued by other humans or not. We never meet someone who is not deeply loved by the Father including those who are hurting. In fact, those individuals are often even nearer to the Father’s heart. So enjoy Christmas and all it’s blessings, but allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you and remind you to reach out to others. It might mean more to them than you will ever know.

Hebrews 13:6

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Proverbs 11:25

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Recently I have been reminded about the fragility of our lives here on Earth and how important it is not to “sweat the small stuff.” Some people have recently lost loved ones, some are seriously ill, some have experienced other losses. The awareness of these things recently gave me a reality check. 

This morning I was preparing a meal for a family at our church who lost their Dad, husband, friend. After some food splashed on my clothes, I asked Robbie to grab an apron from a kitchen drawer for me. He did and handed me an old, worn out apron that was my Nanny’s. As I put it on, I realized I truly felt joy and peace making food for someone else wearing my Nanny’s apron. I’m sure she’d worn it a million times doing the same thing. 

Just going to be real here…every Thanksgiving/Christmas season, I get stressed out. I want to make everyone is happy, make sure everything gets done. Every year, I try not to get overwhelmed, but the events, the shopping, the decorating, the gifts, all the extra added to an already stressful life get to me. I try to hold it all in, but sooner or later the stress bubbles over in a verbal rant or tears, or both. After which I apologize and try to keep my emotions in check.

Recently though, I was reminded more than once about how I needed to stop letting “small things” get to me. In light of the hardships others are facing, I realize the things I let stress me out at times are trivial.  Do those gatherings, presents, decorations etc. really matter long term? No, they don’t. What are the things that we usually remember about the holidays? Our interactions and connections with others, the memories made together, loving others, serving them. I am reminded of how very short our time on Earth is and I’m so very thankful for our eternity in Heaven. What will really matter there is our heart and our love for Jesus, our connection to Him and if we lived our lives to the best of our ability doing His will. While we are here, we should try to focus on the eternal not temporary, material things. Let perfection go and just love others. 

I have some friends in Texas and their church had a “Not About Me November.” That phrase really stuck with me. Serving others and focusing on loving people is so much more valuable eternally and honestly way more fun than checking off a list of items you “have to get done” for the holidays.  I often remind my kids of the acronym J O Y which stands for Jesus, Others, You. While it is a simplistic reminder of how to keep our priorities straight, it really does produce joy within us if we live by it. When we get all stressed out and worked up over something, is it because we are focused on OUR checklist? For me, I can say yes. It’s amazing to me when I encourage, serve, and love others without worrying about checking things off, how my own stress melts away. 

Lord help me to love and serve you first. Then help me show your love to others through friendship and service. I know joy, peace, love and your presence will follow. Help me always to have an eternal perspective. If something is not eternally important, help me to let it go. Help me to let go of “the holiday checklist” and give from the heart. Thank you for the reminder.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.