Author: Tiffany Guy

I'm a wife and mother of three amazing children. As a mother of a child with autism, my faith has been tested and grown through the trials of disability. It became my hope and prayer to encourage others with stories and scriptures, thus, You've Got A Friend was created!

Receiving Grace = Giving Love

I just read the following devotion today from Love Like That by Dr. Les Parrott (YouVersion Bible App). It’s such a good reminder that we can’t give what we don’t have. If we never receive God’s grace, we won’t be able to give His love. ❤️❤️❤️ God’s grace is the proof of His love for us.

Grace-Full

We seem to be on a cosmic quest to establish our value—to prove it, earn it, deserve it. And once we find what we’re looking for, we relax—but only momentarily. Eventually, the people we are pleasing—whether a parent, a spouse, a friend, an advisory board, or an audience—quit sending us love messages. Ultimately we find ourselves back on our endless quest. And that unfulfilling quest makes it nearly impossible to love like Jesus. Why? Because we can’t give grace to others when we aren’t receiving it ourselves. When we’re busy earning acceptance from God, we start to think everyone else should earn it too. Judgmentalism creeps in. Self-righteousness appears.

If you want to be a better grace-giver, you’ve got to continually and consciously receive the grace God gives you. “Whoever has been forgiven only a little,” Jesus said, “loves only a little.” The more grace we receive, the more love we give. When we aren’t cognizant of God’s unconditional acceptance in our own lives, we can’t give it to others. Judgmentalism sees to that.

Here’s the truth: God’s grace is received, not achieved. Grace does not depend on what we have done for God but rather what God has done for us. And continually receiving God’s grace—in the deepest and most central parts of our beings—is the only true and lasting remedy to ugly judgments and holier-than-thou attitudes. “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable,” said C. S. Lewis, “because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Love is not the cause of grace. It’s the proof of it. When we are conscious of God’s grace in our own lives, we are automatically more loving and accepting of others. I’m not naive about our judgments. I don’t think it’s possible to live a life where we never judge anyone, ever. But once you embrace God’s grace, once you raise your consciousness around this gift you are continually given, you get immeasurably closer to loving like Jesus. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Three Years Ago…

Today my blog-youvegotafriend- is 3 years old! When I started it, I didn’t know if I would continue writing long term…but here we are! In honor of my blog’s third birthday, I’ve posted three blogs this week, this one, Good Gifts, and Let It Be Me. I’m also posting the following song by Third Day (because of the blog’s third year…haha…okay corny joke I know…but it is a good song). I hope you enjoy it.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Good Gifts

I love how God will send you little bits of encouragement when you really need it.  Today that encouragement for me came when Landon’s doctor called me and talked to me about applying for disability for Landon. She said it seemed like we would have a pretty good shot at it based on his medical need. 

You might be saying, what? How is that good? 

If you don’t have a severely disabled or special needs person in your life, this might not seem like a big deal, but it is. Landon requires full time care and actually needs way more intensive therapies than we can afford. He qualifies for them. He has been approved for them. But then at the last minute everything falls through, simply because insurance won’t cover it. And we would have to pay out of pocket, private pay for 30 hours per week of therapy. So it doesn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. 

But today, Landon’s  doctor gave us the go ahead to proceed with this process of applying for his disability. What I’m about to say might sound like a negative statement. Or the following may sound like a person who doesn’t have faith. But it is neither. It is simply a factual statement. 

The statement is this:

Landon requires 24/7 intensive caretaking and unless Jesus does a miracle, he always will. 

He has needed special care the first 8 years of his life, he requires it currently, and it will be a necessity in his future. (Can God work a miracle? Absolutely!!! And we pray for this daily!!!) But if the miracle doesn’t happen, the fact remains that he needs care.

Back to what I said earlier. Today I had a glimmer of encouragement and hope when the doctor told us that Landon would more than likely qualify for disability based on his medical need. His medical needs would be able to be met and they really haven’t been the past 8 years. Oh we’ve tried. We’ve been in occupational therapy, speech therapy, self contained special classroom, tried many medications, tried natural supplements, tried dietary modifications, tried different exercises/activities, been evaluated more than once for applied behavioral analysis therapy, and on and on. 

Even if we get disability funding and Landon makes zero progress ever, one thing he will have is financial assistance. He will have that support and hopefully before he is an adult. We are totally aware that his disability application may get denied several times before it is approved. But in my heart,  I believe that he will get this assistance before he is an adult. That is my goal. To do whatever I can to make sure he is taken care of and that we have given it and him our all navigating this “black hole of autism”and disability. 

Now if you don’t have a child with a severe disability like we do, you might not be able to relate to all of the above, but if you are a parent, I’m sure you long for your child to have what they need in life. You want them to be provided for and given the best opportunities at a successful life. 

God is that way with us. He wants to give us good gifts. Even if we are belligerent and difficult and non-compliant. Even if we don’t communicate with him, throw tantrums, and give him nothing but bad behavior, He still wants to provide good things for us, to care for us, to love us. Like we care for and love Landon. I’m thankful for that kind of love.

Matthew 7:11

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!


Matthew 6:25-34

Therefore I tell you, do not worry(B) about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.(C) Are you not much more valuable than they?(D) 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?(E)28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor(F) was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?(G) 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.(H) 33 But seek first his kingdom(I) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.(J) 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


Your friend,

Tiffany

Let It Be Me


Totally just discovered the song “Let It Be Me” by Ray LaMontagne recently. It’s kinda like a more melancholy “Lean on Me.” I really like it. It’s from the perspective of a friend telling another friend to “let me be the one you reach out to when you’re in need.” Super good. The world needs more people who are willing to be that type of a friend. I’m sure Jesus was that kind of a friend when He was here on this Earth and He still is. I’m glad He’s the one we can run to, talk to, cry with, and love. ❤️

Your friend,

Tiffany

Questions and Answers

Landon destroyed his room again last night, I won’t go into details, because who actually wants to hear all that, right? Most everyone probably has something they’re going through. Do you ever ask God why? I do! Do you ever wonder when you are going through something that’s really hard or really long (time wise), if you did something wrong to cause it? I do. 

So today cleaning Landon’s room, I asked God both of those questions. I really did. And this is what came to my mind immediately:

Question: Why, God?

Answer: So you will have compassion for others who are going through really hard circumstances.

Question: Did I do something to cause this…how is this fair? 

Answer: Did Jesus do something to deserve how he was treated and was it “fair”?

Well…I got my answers. 

Cleaning his room I probably used nearly a whole roll of paper towels. I really think God wanted to get my attention today so I could encourage someone who is struggling big time. (I got some undeniable confirmation the other day that something I wrote encouraged several people. Trust me…I know it isn’t because I’m some amazing writer…It’s only because God used it. He’s the one who’s amazing.) 

So if that is you, whatever overwhelming circumstance you are facing, I’m praying for you, my friend, and I love you. I know it’s hard in those trenches. Believe me…I know. I’ve been in my trenches for about 8 years now. I learn something new there almost every day. Some days are harder than others. But today my trenches are not about me, they are about you. 

I know it feels like forever, but it really isn’t forever….our lives are but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. Where our soul spends eternity is forever. If you know Jesus, that eternity is in the best possible place you can ever imagine….no more struggles, sickness, pain, or tears. Only, happiness, peace, and love forever. 

You can do this!! Jesus is right there helping you right now at this moment. Talk to Him and listen for His answer. He will answer you. Listen with your heart.  It may not always be what you want to hear, but He will answer. I can’t promise you an easy road, but I can promise you that you are never alone and you won’t ever be. 

Yesterday, I saw a quote with a picture of a truck traveling down a highway towards the sunset. It said “God is not just at the end of your journey, but He’s at every stop along the way.” I’m thankful for that truth. Especially when life takes us down some hard, bumpy, dusty roads. If we know Him, the end of the story will be our happily ever after. Just hold on and take comfort in that. 

Titus 3:4-7

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

Growth


My mind is totally blown. God recently allowed me to see the tangible result of trusting Him and obeying His voice. I personally love when I can actually see results! Who doesn’t? It is so hard for me to trust what I can’t see, experience, etc. But I guess that’s what having faith is. Trusting, obeying, believing even when we can’t see the results (which is probably the case more times than not, here on this earth.) I’m so very thankful for those amazing times when God let’s us see a glimpse of what He is doing. 🥰🙌🏻🙏❤️

I know God always wants us to keep our focus on Him and not our circumstances, but sometimes this is so hard to do especially when we can’t see, experience, or feel something. (I definitely would never judge someone who is struggling with not tangibly seeing an answer to a prayer, etc.) I know I have some “trust issues,” but if we believe that God loves us, which He totally does, everything is going to be okay in the end. He will work all things out for our good and His glory. 

All of this made me think of the quote above about growth. Sometimes good and beautiful things are happening, but to the natural eye, it looks like total destruction and loss. But physically and spiritually good things, maybe even great things, are happening under the surface. Eyes on Jesus, faith in Him, trusting, even when we can’t see, is precious to Him.  ❤️

2 Corinthians 4:18

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

Rescue

Today when I was leaving the grocery store, Rescue by Lauren Daigle came on the radio. I’ve probably heard that song a hundred times. I’m not a huge Lauren Daigle fan, but I like the way her music sounds and the lyrics to most of her songs. Today, when I heard the song Rescue, I really felt in my spirit someone, somewhere needed to hear it. Then I just kinda brushed off the thought.

Do you ever do that? Do you ever feel like God wants you to do or say something but you second guess yourself? I do this a lot. I’ll think…well maybe I’m just thinking of it. Or maybe that song, verse, story, devotion is just for me. Or no one else really wants to hear what I have to say. Or maybe I sound too “preachy”? Or maybe I just overthink things. Hahaha!

More than likely, if you are living for God and what you are going to share, say, or do is encouraging, uplifting, and pointing someone to the Lord, it’s probably the Holy Spirit leading you to do it. 😊 If it encourages just one person, it’s totally worth it!  

So, I hope that the lyrics to this song encourage you if you need it. Jesus always sees you, finds you, and rescues you.  Even in the darkest of times. You are never alone. Walk by faith and not by sight. Listen for God’s gentle whisper. He’s always there.

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.


Your friend,

Tiffany


Rescue (Lauren Daigle)

You are not hidden

There’s never been a moment

You were forgotten

You are not hopeless

Though you have been broken

Your innocence stolen

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

There is no distance

That cannot be covered

Over and over

You’re not defenseless

I’ll be your shelter

I’ll be your armor

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

I will never stop marching to reach you

In the middle of the hardest fight

It’s true, I will rescue you

I hear the whisper underneath your breath

I hear you whisper, you have nothing left

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

I will never stop marching to reach you

In the middle of the hardest fight

It’s true, I will rescue you

Oh, I will rescue you

Group Projects

“If you want something done, do it yourself.” 

I’ve said this many times in my life. In fact, I really pretty much lived by it, until circumstances in life caused me to really depend on God and reach out to others for help when I needed it. 

I remember when I was in school and hated when the teacher would assign group projects. Every time (inwardly of course in true introvert form) I would sigh and feel like here we go again, I’m going to have to do most of the work myself so our group doesn’t make a bad grade. And even though it may not have been fair or fun, I’d put forth the effort, the project was completed, turned in, grade assigned. Easy. Or at least doable.  

But what about when no matter how hard you try, how much effort you put in, you find yourself in a situation where you can’t “solve the problem”, “complete the assignment”, or “get the job done”? You ask for help. You start to view your situation as a journey not really about a task to complete or a box to check off. You quit being so hard on yourself. You don’t expect perfection from yourself or others. You realize life is messy and complicated and you learn to be okay with that. You realize you need others wisdom. You appreciate those God brings into your life to learn from. You begin to truly care about what others are facing and pray for them. You treat others gently and kindly because you never know what they are facing in their own lives.

Reaching out to others doesn’t mean I’m lazy or not trying hard enough or weak. It means recognizing the times when a situation requires more than just my thoughts and effort and doing something about it. Sometimes it means doing something I’ve never done before and trusting God to get me through it. 

Honestly, it probably takes more wisdom and strength to reach out than to just “do it myself.”

Many things in life keep me humble. I’m constantly aware of the fact that I don’t have all the answers and that God is in control of my life, not me. If it were left up to me, I would have picked easier circumstances, problems I could solve on my own, results I could see. Instead, I have to walk by faith, pray a whole lot, let go of control, ask for help, work hard, and trust the Lord. All of this has caused me to have such an appreciation for others…to recognize their strengths (and weaknesses) as well as my own, and be thankful for them. I learn to go with the flow in the crazy roller coaster of life as a parent of a child with autism, a mom of a teenage girl, a wife of a CPA, a homeschool mom, and the list could go on and on. It’s a good thing to reach out for help when you need to. We weren’t made to do everything on our own.

Hebrews 6:10

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” 

Galatians 6:2

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

John 15:12

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

Where the Lost Things Go

Nothing gets lost. If you feel unsure or unsteady, lost or overlooked, or you simply need to be reminded again, let me be the one to do that. He sees you. He knows you—better than you could know yourself—and He waits with open arms, available with anything you need.

~Brian Houston, There is More

I read the devotion above this morning and kept thinking about it. It made me think of a song I recently played on the piano from Mary Poppins Retuns, Where The Lost Things Go. Part of the lyrics talk about how things aren’t really lost they are just out of place. If things aren’t going right it is easy to feel this way sometimes, but we keep trusting God has our life in His hands and He knows what He is doing. If we know Jesus, nothing’s really lost. Ever.

Isaiah 41:10 reminds us Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

We can trust God to take care of us when things feel out of sorts.

Your friend,

Tiffany

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vJhKxcxQ60dvQXDqQ2PnK9zy1R0dopMX/view?usp=drivesdk