This morning was one of those mornings. Landon had apparently been up half of the night based on the condition we found his room in. It sounds funny, but he didn’t have a stitch of clothes on including no diaper. Well, let’s just say there was a lot of evidence ALL over the room that the diaper had been removed long before we found him!!!
Anyway, this happens at least a couple of times a week. It is frustrating, disappointing, and exhausting. We try to potty train him, teach him to keep his clothes on, etc. So far it hasn’t sunk in with him.
This morning, thankfully both Murry and myself were there. So we both tackled cleaning Landon’s room while Katie watched Landon in the bathtub.
So we get everything cleaned up and Landon out of the bathtub. In the few minutes between him getting out of the bathtub and me putting his clothes on, he has yet another accident! I start the process all over again. I firmly (but not yelling) get onto Landon. I explain all over again about using the potty, etc.
As I’m quietly cleaning him up, feeling pretty discouraged, I looked up and Robbie was watching me. I think he had been standing there for awhile. I asked him if he was okay and if he needed something. He said he didn’t.
I wondered what Robbie was thinking. Maybe he was thinking how aggravating Landon can be. Or maybe he was wanting me to give him some attention. Then I thought maybe he is watching me to learn from me. Am I teaching him anything important right now? Am I teaching him perseverance and patience? Am I teaching him kindness and love? I am far from perfect, but in that moment, I hope he saw those things as I was cleaning Landon up again.
It made me realize that even though I don’t know why Landon has autism and at times it feels like he isn’t making progress, I’m being watched. I’m setting an example for my other children. I pray I can set a good example for them. Even though I don’t have the answers to why, I pray God will use the tough times for good. May good come out of what seems to be futile. I believe it will. It reminded me of one of my favorite poems. God is in control even if we can’t understand our situation.
Life is but a Weaving” (the Tapestry Poem)
“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him.”
By: Corrie Ten Boom
PS. After all the Sunday morning drama, we got to church and sang the following song. It was just what I needed today. May it be a blessing to you too.