I recently read an article called “The Invisible Mother.” The article talked about a mom who was feeling discouraged and unappreciated and basically invisible to everyone. One night the mom had dinner with a friend who was returning on a trip from England. The friend gave her a book about great cathedrals built in Europe and had written in the inscription: ‘With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

The mom learned 4 truths from the book which were:

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – there were no records of their names.

2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

4) The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

The article also mentions the following legend that was written in the book:

A rich man came to visit a cathedral while  being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,

‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof.  No one will ever see it’

And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

God sees all that we do whether or not anyone else does. I think the invisible idea could be applied to pretty much any person because at one time or another we’ve all felt this way. We are all building some type of “cathedral” with our lives whether we realize it or not. What are we building and what is it based on? Our “cathedral” or what we do with our time, our gifts, and our money, should be for God, not ourselves, the true Creator of all things. All we have is for Him. Who we are, the talents we have, relationships we have, all of it belongs to Him.

But, as I thought about all of this,  it seemed like something was missing, something deeper. After thinking about it for a while, I realized what it was.

I think the whole idea should be taken a step further. More important than what we are building here on earth with our lives is the question of why? Why are we building our cathedral?

I believe God wants us to remember the answer to “why we are building our cathedral” not so we can feel lowly, but so we can experience the richness of His love and share it with others!

His love is the bottom line. Our cathedrals (our lives) are simply a reflection of God’s love and who He is. Hopefully they are a shining, beautiful reflection! But it really isn’t about us at all. We can build all the cathedrals in the world,  do all the good deeds, etc., but if we miss His love, we missed the whole point. His love is the reason for building in the first place. His love is the foundation. Honestly, for me, I really don’t care about much else. Material things are so insignificant compared to His love!

My husband describes me as a “mushy” person. I agree. I’m a hopeless romantic who loves hugs, kind words, thoughtful letters, love songs, and small sentimental gifts, etc.  So what’s the point and why does this matter? Because all of those things show love! Love is the driving force behind each and every one of them. If human love can be so strong and feel like such a powerful thing, how much greater is God’s love!

Imagine the most loved you’ve ever felt from a human relationship and multiply it by a thousand. It still doesn’t touch the amount of love God has for us. God’s gifts of love towards us are much greater than any human tokens of love we will ever receive!

To me, that is the point of the cathedral building…reflecting Jesus’ love. It isn’t about us being invisible at all. It’s about Him! We should try to reflect as much of His wonderful love as we can towards others. His love should be our focus as we build our cathedrals. In the craziness of life, we need to remember who He is and His great love for us. When we remember His perfect love for us, all of the goodness and greatness of who He is will be reflected in our “cathedral”.

No one person’s “cathedral” or contribution to a cathedral looks the same.  All that matters is that we build the cathedral God calls us to build. Our cathedral doesn’t need to be compared to someone else’s and we don’t need to judge another’s cathedral if it doesn’t meet our expectations! It’s unfortunate that so many get stuck comparing and judging their life with others. Our cathedral should simply be to glorify God.

We have to remind ourselves that we aren’t unseen whether we feel like it or not. The whole reason He made us is because He loves us. It’s because of His great love that we are never invisible. I have to remind myself of that at times, and it’s okay, so long as I come back to the truth. The truth that God loves and sees me, always. Just as He loves and sees you. Prayerfully, we can keep our focus on God and His great love as we are building. His love is what we want to reflect and it will certainly never be invisible.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Ephesians 5:2

Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Colossians 3:12-14

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 

1 Corinthians 3:10-11

According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 11:10

For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

goodness[good-nis]

noun

the state or quality of being good.

moral excellence; virtue.

kindly feeling; kindness; generosity.

excellence of quality:

goodness of workmanship.

the best part of anything; essence; strength.

This is the definition of goodness I found on dictionary.com. I love the last sentence:

the best part of anything; essence; strength. 

I love how God gives us the best parts of life. All the good things are from Him. They didn’t just happen by chance. God gave them to us because He is good. 

I heard a worship song the other day called The Goodness of God. I listened to it over and over and it reminded me to focus on the blessings He has given me. Life can be tough, He never said it would be easy, but He gives us good gifts. Gifts like health, shelter, food, bills paid, friendships, etc. I don’t want to forget His goodness, even if I’m having a hard day or facing a difficulty. His goodness doesn’t change. God is the best part of anything; the essence of goodness, our strength! Here are the lyrics to the Goodness of God:

I love You, Lord

For Your mercy never failed me

All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up

Until I lay my head

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

And in darkest night You are close like no other

I’ve known You as a Father

I’ve known You as a Friend

And I have lived in the goodness of God, yeah!

And all my life You have been faithful, oh

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God, yeah!

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now

I give You everything

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me, oh-oh

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me

With my life laid down, I’m surrendered now

I give You everything

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it keeps running after me

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

I’m gonna sing, I’m gonna sing

‘Cause all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

(Songwriters: Ben Fielding / Brian Johnson / Ed Cash / Jason Ingram / Jenn Johnson)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n0FBb6hnwTo&feature=share

James 1:17

Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 

Matthew 7:11

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” 

Your friend,

Tiffany

Our Landon will be six years old tomorrow. He was born exactly 2 years and one week after his brother, Robbie. To say our lives haven’t been the same since Landon was born is an understatement! Our world was turned upside down on March 28, 2013. We were very thankful to have a healthy, BIG baby boy…but had no idea what obstacles were on the horizon. Complications at his birth caused a number of health problems for me requiring lots of help, medication, and surgery. Then fast forward a couple of years down the road to Landon’s autism diagnosis. We faced all the complex behavioral and developmental issues that accompany autism along with many more neurological, genetic, and developmental tests. Add speech, occupational, and physical therapy to that along with trying to be parents to two other kids! I homeschooled the older two children on top of that!

If you would have asked me before having Landon what the “hardest” disability to work with was, I would have told you “autism, hands down.” Working with children and adults with autism while I was working on my speech therapy degree was always the hardest to me. 

The autism patients I had in school had tantrums and meltdowns, and sometimes were aggressive. They were repetitive and were basically in their own little world and got pretty upset when I tried to enter their world to work with them! One of my patients in particular was a huge, grown man whose favorite thing to do was listen to Neil Diamond. We had to listen to several Neil Diamond songs every time I worked with him and if we didn’t he got very upset! I was the only one in the room with him and at the time I thought, I hope he doesn’t try to kill me during speech therapy! So…I had some valid reasons for feeling the way I did about autism!

So back to Landon. Life was hard! Landon never slept well until he was 4 years old. He was up all hours of the night jumping on the bed, banging on the wall, tearing up books, toys, furniture, you name it. He threw tantrums and was aggressive and would hit and bite all of us. He couldn’t communicate well with us. Life was pretty miserable back then!

Thankfully God started answering some prayers! We moved and got Landon in a wonderful special needs preschool. We met a wonderful family in our new neighborhood whose oldest adult child had autism. Their daughter ended up being Landon’s babysitter! I’m not saying that everything suddenly was perfect, but we were getting the help for Landon that he needed. After trying probably a dozen different medications for Landon we finally found two medicines that help him sleep and calm him down enough to actually listen and learn now. 

I can’t say I understand exactly why everything has happened the way that it has on our journey with Landon, but I think it has made me a better person. I definitely have become more patient. I know so much more about autism now and actually enjoy learning more about it. Whenever I see a child with a disability now, I almost feel drawn to them. I wonder what life is like for them. I feel compassion for them and their families. I’m not saying I’m a perfect person, but I hope I’m a better person, a more selfless person because of the journey with Landon. I understand more about unconditional love, love that isn’t earned or based on behavior, but just given. Landon has shown me that love really is the most important thing.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I Corinthians 13:3-7

3 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body [a]to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I went to a speech and hearing continuing education conference in February. One of the classes I attended was on Social Communication. Social Communication is NOT the use of social media, but rather traditional face to face conversation/interaction with others. Unfortunately, the decline in traditional communication due to the increase in social media, texting, gaming, etc. has had some very negative repercussions on the emotional and mental health of adults and especially children and teens whose brains are still developing. 

The presenter who spoke listed several studies linking decreased traditional communication with increased rates of depression, suicide, anxiety, and other mental health problems in both children and adults. It was very interesting to learn that even MRI brain scans of children who were gaming/using social media, etc. for multiple hours a day verses kids who did not differed. What the researchers found were structural differences in the brains of the two groups. The following article: Teens: This is how social media affects your brain, by Susie East, for CNN, lists similar findings:

–Whether you’re on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, What’s App or Twitter, the way you communicate with friends today is changing.

Keeping in touch is no longer about face to face, but instead screen to screen, highlighted by the fact that more than 1 billion people are using Facebook every day.

Social media has become second nature — but what impact is this having on our brain?

Reward circuitry

In a recent study, researchers at the UCLA brain mapping center used an fMRI scanner to image the brains of 32 teenagers as they used a bespoke social media app resembling Instagram. By watching the activity inside different regions of the brain as the teens used the app, the team found certain regions became activated by “likes“, with the brain’s reward center becoming especially active.

When teens learn that their own pictures have supposedly received a lot of likes, they show significantly greater activation in parts of the brain’s reward circuitry,” says lead author Lauren Sherman. “This is the same group of regions responding when we see pictures of a person we love or when we win money.”

The teenagers were shown more than 140 images where ‘likes’ were believed to from their peers, but were in fact assigned by the research team.

Scans revealed that the nucleus accumbens, a part of the brain’s reward circuitry, was especially active when teens saw a large number of likes on their own photos, which could inspire them to use social media more often.

Peer influence

As part of the experiment, participants were also shown a range of “neutral” photos showing things like food and friends, and “risky” photos depicting cigarettes and alcohol. But the type of image had no impact on the number of “likes” given by the teens. they were instead more likely to ‘like’

more popular photos, regardless of what they showed. This could lead to both a positive and negative influence from peers online.

Sherman believes these results could have important implications among this age group.

“Reward circuitry is thought to be particularly sensitive in adolescence,” says Sherman, “It could be explaining, at least in part, why teens are such avid social media users”

Social learning

Adolescence is a period that is very important for social learning, which could explain why teens are often more tuned in to what’s going on in their respective cultures. With the rise of social media, Sherman thinks we may even be learning to read likes and shares instead of facial expressions.

Changing the brain

Dumontheil does, however, concur that social media is affecting our brain, particularly its plasticity, which is the way the brain grows and changes after experiencing different things.

“Whenever you learn something new or you experience something, it’s encoded in your brain, and it’s encoded by subtle changes in the strength of connections between neurons,” says Dumontheil.

For example, one study showed that the white matter in an adults’ brains changed as they learned how to juggle over a period of several months. “They found that if you scan [the brains of] adults before they learn how to juggle, and then three months later, you can see changes in the brain structure,” says Dumontheil. 

Time spent on social media could, therefore, also cause the brain to change and grow. 

Here’s some more interesting (and sad) statistics from the continuing ed class I took:

Socially: Teens now spend less time with friends, more time alone in their room, obsessed with staying connected on social media/gaming, like phones more than people

Emotionally: more depression, self-injury, more lonely, fear intimacy, anxious about feeling left out

2 out of 3 teens have an iphone.

Teens check their phones on average more than 80 times per day.

In the United States for children ages 10-14 years, death by suicide doubled from 2007-2014.

In a national sample, only 29% of children reported that their school provided a caring environment.

In a 2016 study, 20% of children are bullied on a regular basis.

I recently went on a mission trip to Honduras with my mom, dad, and daughter. I literally put my cell phone in a drawer and it stayed there all week. With the exception of calling home (using another phone) I used no technology or electronics- no social media, no computer, cell phone, or even TV. You know how much I missed it? None. I did miss my family members back home of course, but I didn’t miss social media, I didn’t feel less connected. In fact I felt more connected. I enjoyed talking with other team members. I loved trying to speak Spanish with the Hondurans. I loved listening to others tell stories about past mission trips or their lives or the ways God has worked in their life. I loved helping to paint a small Honduran church in the mountains of Rio Colorado, Honduras. I loved the one hour bus ride up and down the mountain every day passing out candy or toiletries to people walking along the way. I loved singing praise and worship songs on the bus. I loved giving a few haircuts while I was there. I enjoyed making new friends and getting to see the heartfelt expressions of God’s love in other’s actions whether in construction, praise and worship, photography, teaching, praying, making the kids laugh, and so much more. (See above photos.) I felt way more connected to people than I ever do scrolling through Facebook. In fact to be real, scrolling through Facebook at times makes me feel more alone! 

So what does all this mean? While advancements in technology might be beneficial and convenient in some ways, in others it’s detrimental. My point is I think our culture is mistaken. Relationships/friendships aren’t always helped by technology. Technology isn’t all bad, but it should be a means to an end not the “end all be all”. It’s hurting us and our kids when we REPLACE conversations and true connections with our loved ones with video games, iPhones, computers, and social media. Do Facebook and iPhones really make us “feel more connected” to others? Or do they make us feel more isolated and alone? What about our children? Their brains are being rewired to connect emotionally to a phone or computer game instead of people. I’m pretty sure it’s the same with some adults, too. Okay…yes…I’ll admit it….the overuse of electronics is something I really don’t like and never have. Why? Because to me it takes away from true communication which is what our relationships are made of. This includes our friendships, our marriages, relationships with our kids, and if we aren’t careful our relationship with God. And if we don’t communicate what is actually left of a relationship/friendship? Just a thought.

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1 John 2:15-17 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

(PS. Special thanks and photo credit goes to Mr. James Flanders.)

Your friend,

Tiffany

When I think of the word gifted, I usually think of an extremely smart person. In school, kids were tested and if they scored high enough, they were labeled “gifted”. They went to a special class and everyone knew they were the really smart kids!! (Now I was friends with probably all the kids who were gifted in my class and they were all pretty nice people!) But I wasn’t in that group. Now, I made good grades…mostly A’s and a few B’s so I was probably considered “smart”…but I didn’t score high enough on the “gifted” test to be in the gifted class. So, I thought I wasn’t gifted and honestly it really wasn’t a big deal to me. But the problem is, that belief was incorrect!

Not to be cliche’, but everyone is “gifted” in some way or another. No really! I didn’t discover until much later in life what that was for me and I’m still learning! God truly did give everyone unique gifts and personalities. Usually when we use those “gifts” we are the happiest and the most fulfilled. Knowing what our giftings are along with our personality type helps us understand ourselves and others better. To me, it seems to help in understanding my own strengths and weaknesses as well as those of others. Usually I find if there is someone I don’t understand or can’t relate to, it is probably because they have different giftings than I do. And that’s okay! There are things I can do well that they cannot!

My daughter and husband both have a lot of leadership and administrative gifts. They lead, give directions, make decisions, and get things done! Sounds good, right? I would rather not have to be the one in charge and make all the decisions! And all is well until all the leading and decisiveness comes across as bossiness! Now before you think I’m picking on Murry and Katie, let me explain.   They are using the gifts they have and my gifts and Robbie’s gifts are really different! Robbie and I are good listeners and are really empathetic. We really care about others feelings and taking care of others and serving others. Sounds good, right? All is well until we get our feelings hurt because we are more sensitive! 

Here’s the thing. Once we understand how God made us, our strengths AND weaknesses, we can then understand ourselves and others better. I’m not saying you’ll like “the weaknesses”. But I think all of the “gifting” knowledge helps you get along with others more. Our world needs a lot more of this, for sure. Another thought to add here is we also must connect daily with God so we are guided by his will, otherwise our giftings and our lives will be self-centered and self-serving.

Our church provides a class to teach you about your spiritual gifts as well as your personality type. You take both a giftings test and a personality test. It is pretty cool what you discover! (I’ve always loved personality tests….my husband is now rolling his eyes.) You can find these types of tests online and many are free. 

On the DISC test, I’m an SC which stands for steady, compliant and introvert. On a spiritual gifts test my gifts are encouragement (exhortation), mercy, and service. On the Myers-Briggs personality test I’m an ISFJ (Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging).  As I’ve learned about all of this over a period of time, I realized why I find purpose in being a mom, homeschooling, writing these blogs, why I became a Speech Language Pathologist, and even why God trusted me enough to give me a child with autism!

God is the giver of all the gifts we have and we need to remember that! With that being said, it is important to remember to use our gifts for Him.

You are gifted! If you don’t know what your gifts are, find out, then use them. Encourage others to do the same. Allow that knowledge to help you understand yourself and others better.

Romans 12:6-8

6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Last night I did something that I never believed I could do. I spoke in public. I gave my testimony at the women’s meeting at church. Public speaking is my BIGGEST fear hands down. But here’s the thing. I wasn’t afraid while I was speaking! Oh I’ve had to give speeches and presentations before in high school and college, but there was one main difference…I was terrified to the point of being sick and so nervous I couldn’t get the words out. But last night was different. I prayed and had a lot of others praying that I wouldn’t be nervous and while I was speaking, I wasn’t. Now I am not saying I am a great public speaker. I’m much more comfortable with writing, but I got through it just fine, and I hope it blessed others. That is the whole point really…to be a blessing to others. God answers our prayers…and if He did it for me, He’ll do it for you! Without God I know I couldn’t have given my testimony last night. But we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. We can truly do nothing in our own strength! Just like with Moses, God will give us the words to say if it’s something He asks us to do. I truly experienced that last night! In the natural, I’m not a good speaker, but God can speak His words through me. I’m not saying I would ever look forward to opportunities to speak, but God proved to me tonight that He really will give me the words He wants me to say if I’m obedient to His voice. So if God is asking you today to say or speak something for Him, trust Him. He really will give you the words to say.

Exodus 4:10-12

10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

Your friend,

Tiffany

After Landon’s school open house recently, I was reflecting on how welcoming and caring Landon’s teachers were when we met with them that day. I thought to myself what a wonderful gift they give every single day to typically developing kids and those with special needs. (Trust me, it takes a really amazing person to work with special needs kids day in and day out! They are role models for me.) Anyway, as I was thinking about how much good teachers should be appreciated and honored, my mind immediately went back to my days in high school. I immediately remembered what my high school principal would say every day, every single day. At the conclusion of the announcements, he would say “Teachers, let’s make a difference and be somebody’s hero.” He said it Every. Single. Day. So much so that I’m sure most people weren’t paying much attention to it because it was said so much. But now looking back, I think that statement was probably one of the most profound things we heard every day!

Back then, the principal made the daily announcements over the intercom every morning while we were in homeroom. Principal Bell was a very friendly person who always had a cheerful demeanor and a huge smile to offer anyone! On top of that, he wore a suit everyday, and he had one in every color of the rainbow!! From lime green, to pink, to purple, to navy, to black. Those suits really fit his happy, cheerful nature! Anyway, he passed away in 2007, but his words didn’t. They replayed in my mind just the other day, and I began to think about what a hero really is. 

Many times we think a hero is a famous athlete or wealthy celebrity, but nothing could be further from the truth. A hero is a kind teacher, a dedicated nurse, a brave   soldier, a loving pastor, a dad who jogs pushing his adult special needs child in a wheelchair, a faithful mom, an encouraging principal, dedicated missionaries, etc. 

I have several heros in my life and one of them is my daddy. He retired from the military, but he never really retired!! His passion, what drives him, is meeting the needs of others. He would do pretty much anything to help anyone, and I don’t just mean in words, but in actions. He would do anything from putting up a fence for a neighbor to building a church in the hills of Honduras. He walks the walk. He is a missionary and he and my mom have led short-term mission trips for almost 20 years. That’s what a hero is.

We like what looks glamorous and beautiful. We tend to focus on those and forget the ones who do the humble, simple, things that go unnoticed.  But without the true heros, we would have huge empty places!!  There would be less love because there would be less givers. There would be less true heros.

So, whatever you do each day, reflect on who and what truly matters. Do the truly “heroic” things….even the mundane. It doesn’t matter what your profession is, be the best you that you can be.  Lovingly make a difference and know that you really might just be somebody’s hero!

1 Corinthians 10:31

…whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Matthew 25:40

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. 

Your friend,

Tiffany

What is the hardest thing about dealing with an ongoing dilemma that you have no answers for? Is it really not knowing the answer to the problem? Is it not seeing how to get past the storm back into the sunshiny, happy times of life? Or is it feeling alone as you face the problem?

I ponder all of these things sometimes. Having no answers is hard. Not seeing an end in sight is really hard. But the more I think about these things, I realize that to me, feeling alone is probably the worst thing of all.  It magnifies the problem. As long as you know you aren’t alone and someone has experienced what you are going through, or they’re experiencing it with you, it makes it bearable. Does it take the problem away? No. But someone sharing the load is a wonderful thing. It is freeing.  Having friends or family share that burden with you as you face a difficult situation strengthens you to see you through the storm.

The other day I was praying and I said “God, I really don’t know how I could ever encourage anyone else whose child has autism because I don’t have answers myself. I wouldn’t know what to tell them or how to help them.”

Instantly it seemed like God was saying “You don’t have to have the answers. You just need to let them know that they are not alone and that you know what they are going through.”

I can do that! That is actually why I started this blog. I really want anyone who may be reading this and facing something hard in life to know that you aren’t alone. Please be comforted in knowing God is with you in your storm and there are most definitely others who can relate to whatever it is you are facing!  I can empathize with hard times for sure. I understand what it is to face some ongoing health problems. I know what it means to have a special needs child in addition to typically developing children. I may not know you well or have faced exactly what you are going through, but whatever the case, you are not alone! God is with you and I pray that He’ll bring people into your life to encourage and help you! May you always know “you’ve got a friend”.

I am so thankful for the family members and friends who provide help and encouragement to me along the way. They are truly the hands and feet of God to me.  I am thankful ALWAYS for their love. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New International Version (NIV)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:

10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Proverbs 17:17

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Your friend,

Tiffany

PS. You may not be a James Taylor fan, but the words to this song are really good.

“You’ve Got A Friend”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dvvJ7MYaK8o

This morning was one of those mornings. Landon had apparently been up half of the night based on the condition we found his room in. It sounds funny, but he didn’t have a stitch of clothes on including no diaper. Well, let’s just say there was a lot of evidence ALL over the room that the diaper had been removed long before we found him!!!

Anyway, this happens at least a couple of times a week. It is frustrating, disappointing, and exhausting. We try to potty train him, teach him to keep his clothes on, etc. So far it hasn’t sunk in with him.

This morning, thankfully both Murry and myself were there. So we both tackled cleaning Landon’s room while Katie watched Landon in the bathtub. 

So we get everything cleaned up and Landon out of the bathtub. In the few minutes between him getting out of the bathtub and me putting his clothes on, he has yet another accident! I start the process all over again. I firmly (but not yelling) get onto Landon. I explain all over again about using the potty, etc. 

As I’m quietly cleaning him up, feeling pretty discouraged, I looked up and Robbie was watching me. I think he had been standing there for awhile. I asked him if he was okay and if he needed something. He said he didn’t. 

I wondered what Robbie was thinking. Maybe he was thinking how aggravating Landon can be. Or maybe he was wanting me to give him some attention. Then I thought maybe he is watching me to learn from me. Am I teaching him anything important right now? Am I teaching him perseverance and patience? Am I teaching him kindness and love? I am far from perfect, but in that moment, I hope he saw those things as I was cleaning Landon up again. 

It made me realize that even though I don’t know why Landon has autism and at times it feels like he isn’t making progress, I’m being watched. I’m setting an example for my other children. I pray I can set a good example for them. Even though I don’t have the answers to why, I pray God will use the tough times for good. May good come out of what seems to be futile. I believe it will. It reminded me of one of my favorite poems. God is in control even if we can’t understand our situation.

Life is but a Weaving” (the Tapestry Poem)

“My life is but a weaving

Between my God and me.

I cannot choose the colors

He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper

And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas

And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the weaver’s skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;

Nothing this truth can dim.

He gives the very best to those

Who leave the choice to Him.”

By: Corrie Ten Boom

Your friend,

Tiffany

PS.  After all the Sunday morning drama, we got to church and sang the following song. It was just what I needed today. May it be a blessing to you too.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU