I was recently thinking about those who are feeling loss this Christmas. Maybe a loved one passed away this year. I know several who have lost loved ones this year. Maybe some are facing loneliness because they do not have close family. Maybe some are struggling financially and will have very little if anything from “Santa” this year. Even with the craziness of this year, many of us have more than enough food, family, and material things and we take it for granted that everyone has the same. So we post our fun holiday memes and cute Christmas pictures and that is okay, but what if we were the ones scrolling through Facebook grieving the loss of a loved one, not having enough to make ends meet, facing a serious illness, or feeling lonely? I’m not saying we should feel guilty for all of the blessings that we have, but what if we stop for a moment and pray for someone we know is hurting. Maybe reach out to someone who has lost a family member. Make some cookies for someone. Call or text someone who God lays on our heart to reach out to. Have a meaningful conversation with someone. To me, that is truly Christmas and the heart of who Christ is. When I sat down to write this, the Max Lucado book “You Are Special” came to mind. It’s one of my favorite children’s books. I’ve shared it before, but thought I’d share it again. It’s a reminder that each person is specially made by the Creator and highly valued, no matter if they are valued by other humans or not. We never meet someone who is not deeply loved by the Father including those who are hurting. In fact, those individuals are often even nearer to the Father’s heart. So enjoy Christmas and all it’s blessings, but allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you and remind you to reach out to others. It might mean more to them than you will ever know.

Hebrews 13:6

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Proverbs 11:25

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Recently I have been reminded about the fragility of our lives here on Earth and how important it is not to “sweat the small stuff.” Some people have recently lost loved ones, some are seriously ill, some have experienced other losses. The awareness of these things recently gave me a reality check. 

This morning I was preparing a meal for a family at our church who lost their Dad, husband, friend. After some food splashed on my clothes, I asked Robbie to grab an apron from a kitchen drawer for me. He did and handed me an old, worn out apron that was my Nanny’s. As I put it on, I realized I truly felt joy and peace making food for someone else wearing my Nanny’s apron. I’m sure she’d worn it a million times doing the same thing. 

Just going to be real here…every Thanksgiving/Christmas season, I get stressed out. I want to make everyone is happy, make sure everything gets done. Every year, I try not to get overwhelmed, but the events, the shopping, the decorating, the gifts, all the extra added to an already stressful life get to me. I try to hold it all in, but sooner or later the stress bubbles over in a verbal rant or tears, or both. After which I apologize and try to keep my emotions in check.

Recently though, I was reminded more than once about how I needed to stop letting “small things” get to me. In light of the hardships others are facing, I realize the things I let stress me out at times are trivial.  Do those gatherings, presents, decorations etc. really matter long term? No, they don’t. What are the things that we usually remember about the holidays? Our interactions and connections with others, the memories made together, loving others, serving them. I am reminded of how very short our time on Earth is and I’m so very thankful for our eternity in Heaven. What will really matter there is our heart and our love for Jesus, our connection to Him and if we lived our lives to the best of our ability doing His will. While we are here, we should try to focus on the eternal not temporary, material things. Let perfection go and just love others. 

I have some friends in Texas and their church had a “Not About Me November.” That phrase really stuck with me. Serving others and focusing on loving people is so much more valuable eternally and honestly way more fun than checking off a list of items you “have to get done” for the holidays.  I often remind my kids of the acronym J O Y which stands for Jesus, Others, You. While it is a simplistic reminder of how to keep our priorities straight, it really does produce joy within us if we live by it. When we get all stressed out and worked up over something, is it because we are focused on OUR checklist? For me, I can say yes. It’s amazing to me when I encourage, serve, and love others without worrying about checking things off, how my own stress melts away. 

Lord help me to love and serve you first. Then help me show your love to others through friendship and service. I know joy, peace, love and your presence will follow. Help me always to have an eternal perspective. If something is not eternally important, help me to let it go. Help me to let go of “the holiday checklist” and give from the heart. Thank you for the reminder.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

When we left the tracks, he was breathing heavy but not slowing, so I pushed him farther. We ran across the yard through rows of cars and out to the edge of the lot to the foot of the Bucket. I pointed to the top. “Every workout ends up there.” He followed me every step. Tired and gorging on air, we left Audrey at the bottom and began sprinting up the hill. After the first slight hump, he faltered just a bit. I slowed, put my hand on his back, and gently pushed. He caught his breath and regained his stride. So I stretched him again and pushed farther. Three-quarters of the way up, he’d redlined. Which was good. I needed to know his limits. I also needed him to know that he could push past them, so I stretched him farther and upped the tempo one last time. He dropped a step or two behind me. I slowed and ran alongside him. My shoulder bumping his. “Nope. Not now. You want to be something other than what you are, then run up here alongside me. I know you’re tired, and I don’t really care. You can breathe when we get to the top. You want to become better? Then this is where it starts.” He gave me all he had and never offered an excuse. When he reached the top, he bent at the waist trying to catch his breath but he didn’t take his eyes off me. He was waiting for the next call-the next play. Every quarterback, sooner or later, will face a point in a game where all hades has broken loose and very little, if anything, is in his control. It usually comes somewhere in the fourth quarter when he’s tired and hurting, when his body is bruised and battered and his mind is screaming at him to lie down and quit. To make the bad man stop. Audrey believes in Dee and had told me a lot, but I needed to know what was in him. How deep was his well. Could he respond to me when his mind was screaming at him to quit? And how much did all of this matter? I needed to know if he was enamored with the idea of being a quarterback or playing quarterback.

The difference matters.

My punishment of him the first morning out may seem insensitive but I didn’t want to waste my time or his. So I pushed him until his body cracked. That very moment is what I wanted to see. And when I did, when his body had done all it could, his eyes and ears were trained on me.

And you can’t coach that. This kid wanted to play quarterback.

(Martin, Charles. A Life Intercepted.  New York, Center Street, 2014.)

When I read the above passage, I was reminded of how God often uses trials, difficulties, pressures and stresses, to test us. He knows just how much pressure to apply and for how long in order to strengthen us, and also to see what is deep inside of our hearts. At our most pressed, the words that come out of our mouths, our actions, our attitudes, etc. will reveal Jesus or not. He knows just how much we are capable of withstanding and whether or not we will keep our eyes on Him. Just like in the above story, each time the coach gently pushed the athlete past what he thought he could stand, more and more strengthening and refining took place. The same happens with us. The Lord sees into our heart and sees what is truly motivating us. The pressure and stress are controlled by His loving hands and aren’t meant to destroy us. His desire is to determine what is truly in our hearts and increase our endurance. His purpose is for us to reach deeper depths in our relationship with Him and follow his leading in what He wants us to accomplish for the Kingdom of God because we want to do His will. We want to “play quarterback” not just have that title in name only. Our greatest desire is, or should be, to follow His leading and please Him.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

1 Thessalonians 1:3

We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Your friend,

Tiffany

P.S. The book, A Life Intercepted (Charles Martin), is a really good read especially if you like football or are looking for a good Christian fiction novel. 😊

We sang a song called Fill Me Up in worship yesterday at church. As we were singing, some thoughts from a ladies conference I attended last year came to mind. The speaker talked about being a river of living water rather than a cistern of water. What is a cistern?

A cistern (Middle English cisterne, from Latin cisterna, from cista, “box”, from Greek κίστη kistē, “basket”) is a waterproof receptacle for holding liquids, usually water. Cisterns are often built to catch and store rainwater. Cisterns are distinguished from wells by their waterproof linings.

A cistern catches and contains rainwater. How does a cistern compare to a river? Both collect and contain water. What contrasts can be made between the two? A cistern is waterproof and fairly still except for when rain water is added. Because of this, the water in a cistern can often become stagnant. A river, however, is constantly moving. It collects rainwater also, but the river is always flowing. The river’s contents continually move and the water is constantly distributed to other locations. The water doesn’t ever sit long enough to become stagnant. The river water might flow to other bodies of water like oceans or lakes. At times, the river might flood or overflow onto nearby land. 

We can compare our lives to this. Water is refreshing and we have to have it to survive. Is your life more like a cistern or a river? What do we do with the “water” God provides (time, talents, and treasures/money)? Sometimes it can be easier to just store what we have, but is that what we were meant to do? I think God is pleased when we allow our resources (not just material or financial, but maybe time, spiritual gifts, fruit of the spirit, etc. which come from Him anyway) to flow out of us like a river. All that we are and have are given to us by God, not just to store up, but to share. I’ve always heard you can’t “out-give” God, meaning He will always bless you with more as you are obedient to share your gifts as He leads. Remember it doesn’t just mean material things. He will continually fill you up and meet your needs as you allow Him to move into your life and help you flow like a river. 

John 7:38

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”

Revelation 22:1

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb.

Your friend,

Tiffany

Fill Me Up

(Jesus Culture)

You provide the fire

And I’ll provide the sacrifice

You provide the spirit

And I will open up inside

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up

Love of God overflow

Permeate all my soul

Love of God overflow

Permeate all my soul

Love of God overflow

Permeate all my soul

Love of God overflow

Permeate all my soul

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up, God

Fill me up

Apparently today is World Mental Health Day. One of the best articles I ever read was from a Guidepost a couple of years back. It was about Abraham Lincoln and his life long struggle with depression. Lincoln came from a very poor family. His mother died when he was only nine years old from a terrible illness. His only sister died giving birth to a stillborn child. He was suicidal more than once. When he was 32 he wrote, “I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would be not one happy face upon the earth.” At that time, there were no effective treatments, and Lincoln was subjected to starving, bleeding, dunking in icy water, swallowing mercury, applying mustard rubs that burned his skin raw. Of course all of those “treatments” left him worse. Because of Lincoln’s depression he learned coping skills, developed wisdom, and gained amazing strengths including humor, humility, dedication to a great cause, and dependence on God. Many researchers are grateful Lincoln was not cured, because he might not have ended up becoming the great leader he was!

(Abraham Lincoln: A Courage Born of Depression by Elizabeth Sherrill, Contributing Editor From Guideposts Posted on Feb 12, 2018)

Many thoughts come to mind when I think about mental health. Some are from observations and things I’ve read and some are from personal experience. It is my belief that a person’s mental health is not in a separate compartment from their physical and spiritual health. All three affect each other. If a person has a physical illness it can definitely negatively impact their mental health. If a person isn’t where they should be spiritually in their relationship with Jesus, it could definitely negatively impact their physical and mental well-being. All that being said, however, I have personally witnessed those with a mental illness being told that they have a spiritual problem and if they would just get their “heart right”, their mental health would be better. I’m sorry, but that’s kind of like a well meaning person telling someone with a broken arm to “get their heart right with God” and it will cause their arm to heal. Or if a person has cancer and they refuse treatment and just “try to get closer to God” to make the cancer go away. It makes no sense!! Now, is a mental problem a little more abstract and definitely not as obvious/concrete as a physical illness, absolutely. It may need treatment that is different than a physical illness. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real or should be written off as a symptom of not having enough faith. Also, I want to point out that I truly believe God can and does heal any of the three areas: physical, mental, spiritual. He uses many different methods of healing- doctors, medicine, prayer, counseling, etc. 

My takeaways are:

1. Pray for and don’t judge someone who is struggling mentally. Ask God for wisdom in what to say to them and  always treat that person the way you would want to be treated. We are called to love others, not judge or be condemning.
2. Be very careful before assuming a mental illness is a spiritual problem.
3. Don’t assume those with mental illnesses don’t have a purpose or can’t accomplish something great in their lives. (Examples: Abraham Lincoln, Charles Spurgeon, Mother Teresa)

Your friend,

Tiffany

Everything in our lives, who we are, what we do needs to point back to Jesus. Does what we do with our jobs, our time, our money show/reflect who Jesus is? How about our actions…do people feel drained or encouraged by our words and what we do? Or are we trying to gain things- attention, money, material possessions for ourselves? Do we really care about other people more than ourselves? Do we really live to love and serve God and others or are we so busy with life that we don’t prioritize loving God and others. What kind of spiritual fruit do our lives show?  Do we try to use the gifts/talents God has given us to glorify Jesus or do we just let them go to waste? Of course we have to do laundry, dishes, prepare food, go to work, help the kids with their homework, etc., but do we take time to read God’s word, and listen to His voice? Believe me, I know life gets crazy! I feel like I live in a circus at times. Do we try to take the time to show other people that we care about them, to let them know that they matter, to us and to God? It doesn’t have to be some big, huge gesture. Maybe it’s just sending someone a song telling them you’re thinking of them. Maybe it’s telling someone you are praying for them and actually praying for them. Maybe it’s giving some hand-me-down clothes to someone. Maybe it’s making a meal for someone who is sick. Maybe it’s sending someone a card to encourage them. Maybe it’s sending a veteran some homemade cookies. Maybe it’s texting someone and letting them know you’ve experienced what they are going through and that they can reach out to you if they need to talk and actually mean it. None of these things are big things and anyone could do them if they are willing to. This world has lots of hurting people. We can allow the Holy Spirit to work through us to reflect Jesus’ love to them, not because we are special/important, but because He is. No one is perfect…I definitely don’t have it all together. Life feels like a juggling act to me most of the time! We all have different gifts/talents/abilities that God has given us to use, however. When we simply use those gifts to love others and serve God, the light of His glory shines brightly. He is like the sun and we need to be like the moon. We are mirrors/reflections of Him. And He is Love. Love that this world so desperately needs. All we have to do is be willing to use the resources He has given us. Gifts that belong to Him anyway. He’ll take care of everything else.

Matthew 22:37-40

37Jesus declared, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Your friend,

Tiffany

Hurt people hurt people. I know it’s a cliche’ statement but it is so true. A lot of times we encounter people who are rude, annoying, or just plain mean. It is easy to react by getting offended or returning their negative comment or action with one of our own. But if we stop and think about why they are acting the way they are before we respond, it can really diffuse the anger or negative emotion we feel.  The majority of the time, the rude person’s attitude has a root of hurt or pain of some kind. Now I’m not suggesting that the rude person is justified in acting the way that they do, but when we respond to them knowing that they are coming from some type of difficulty/hurt, it is easier to respond with a heart of compassion.

Case in point. I had a doctor’s appointment/check up awhile back. Being completely candid here…I had gained 11 pounds since my last appointment and my cholesterol was higher. (I attribute the weight gain to the quarantine and having three kids at home full time one of whom has autism.) A nurse was observing/being trained during my appointment. I told the doctor that I knew I’d gained some weight. The nurse in training gasped (out loud) when she saw that I’d gained 11 pounds. I was shocked that she reacted out loud! (I’m not a snarky type of person and fortunately I usually don’t think of “come backs” until much after the fact.) Anyway it kinda bothered me, but mainly because the nurse in training obviously weighed more than me! And my cholesterol had never been that high before! Me being an introvert, I’m just sitting there with those thoughts running through my head, thinking how I needed to lose weight, but also how dare the overweight nurse try to take the speck out of my eye when she had a plank in her own! I never said anything out loud. So the doctor wanted me to lose some weight and try to get my cholesterol down and scheduled a follow up appointment. 

So fast forward to my follow up appointment. I ate right, exercised, etc. and lost about 3 pounds and got my cholesterol levels down to the normal range. Interestingly enough the same nurse in training was there observing again. I wanted to say to her, see I lost some weight! But right before I said it, I felt the Holy Spirit remind me that “hurt people hurt people”. So I looked over at her and said, “It’s really hard for me to lose weight.” She looked surprised that I talked to her and said very quietly, “It is for me too. I’ve gained 90 pounds these past couple of years.” She kinda looked embarrassed so we talked for a little while about weight loss and exercise and she made a few comments that let me know her self-esteem was probably not the greatest. On the way out of the room, I looked her in the eye and told her I enjoyed talking to her and hope she had a blessed day and wished her well. She said “thank you.” I could tell she meant it. I was so glad I didn’t just respond with a sassy comment like I’d felt like doing. Sometimes it is easier said than done to respond with a good attitude. For me, it was worth looking beneath the surface to the reason of the rudeness instead of just reacting to it. I pray that in the future, the Holy Spirit will remind me to do that and remember when someone is hurtful it may be a symptom of deeper hurt within them. I don’t want the focus to be my feelings, but the other person’s heart.

Luke 6:27-28

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:12

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience

Ephesians 4:2

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I’m so so thankful school has started back! Even though I’m totally aware that it could end again at any moment, for now it is great to have a little normalcy in a daily routine. My kids even appreciate school more! Hopefully their enthusiasm will last for a while…fingers crossed.

The impact of all the negative events happening right now definitely affects everyone differently. Some are super anxious and fearful. Some are depressed. Some are angry and upset. Some are just ready to get “back to normal”….whatever that means.

For me personally, this has been a super tough season having all three kids at home full time with few activities. I’m very thankful for help we had with the kids from friends and family.  We did have access to a pool all summer which was a huge blessing! Anyway…it was still a pretty difficult season and the way my body handled it all was with insomnia.

If you’ve never had insomnia, especially recurring insomnia, be thankful! It is like being physically and mentally exhausted and tired yet never being able to switch your brain off. Yeah…not fun! Anyway, my insomnia has definitely worsened during the last few months (but I’m making it and getting at least some sleep.)

Anyway, a few weeks back I had a really rough night and only got about two hours of sleep. Earlier that day, a song I’d never heard before came on Pandora. I listen to music- mostly praise and worship- a lot. I made sure to remember the name of the song when I heard it. It was a 7-8 year old song called Song of Solomon (Martin Smith/Jesus Culture). I’d never heard it before even though I listen to music often. The words caught my attention big time!

Oh, through the valleys, through the dark of night. Here You come running, to hold me till it’s light.

I really believe God sent me that song that day because he knew I would be awake most of that night. That night I listened to the song over and over when I couldn’t sleep. It was such a comfort to listen and know that the God of the universe cares about every detail of our lives.

More than hearing Him speak or having a sign that He’s there is just knowing and believing that He loves us. We love Him because He first loved us. Really and truly if the world understood the magnitude of that love, no one would ever want to hurt Him by contributing to any evil that is going on in the world today.

He is there in the tiniest details. He’ll send you a song to bring you comfort and remind you that He’s there and will never leave. All we have to do is look for Him. He’s there even in the middle of the crazy events of the world right now. Just ask Him to reveal Himself to you and He will. He’ll speak to you. Maybe not in a loud booming voice, but through a song, a Bible verse, an encouraging word from a friend, a beautiful sunset, or simply by giving you peace in your heart.

Be still and know. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice. He’s there.

Your friend,

Tiffany

P.S. Here are the lyrics and link to the Song of Solomon. Enjoy!

Over the mountains, over the sea

Here You come running, my Lover to me

When I feel the cold of winter

In this cloak of sadness, I need You

Oh the evil things that shake me

All the words that break me I need You

Over the mountains, over the sea

Here You come running, my Lover to me

Do not hide me from Your presence

Pull me from these shadows, I need You

Beauty wrap Your arms around me

Sing Your song of courage, I need You

Over the mountains, over the sea

Here You come running, my Lover to me

Oh, through the valleys, through the dark of night

Here You come running, to hold me till it’s light

I’ll come running, I’ll come running, I’ll come running back to You

YouTube

I had a dream several nights ago that was pretty vivid and definitely seemed to have some spiritual components so I wanted to share it. In the dream, our family moved and we had to find a new church. So all five of us went to church together. We  walked into a big church. It looked nice and had so many activities going on. In fact, it was set up outside to be exciting and fun. The only problem was there were too many people there. It was so crowded you could barely move. Before I knew it, our children were being taken away from us and led to the activity that was set up for their age group. We tried to keep eyes on all three kids but that turned out to be impossible with the crowd. I realized quickly that things were becoming more and more chaotic and it didn’t seem safe and we needed to leave. I tried to gather up my children, but by that time, I couldn’t find them. I realized that this wasn’t a church at all, but only a gigantic fair! People kept saying it was the church, but it wasn’t. I went over to several groups of people gathered around different activities to try and find my kids, but people were so involved in their game they didn’t stop to help me. They barely even listened to what I was saying…just “go look over there” and “isn’t this fun, it’s such a great church isn’t it!” So I searched and searched for my kids and finally spotted Robbie. Only he wasn’t playing a game. He was getting beat up by a bully! I was trying to push my way through the crowd, but by the time I got there, he had vanished. I never gathered all my children. Then I woke up.

I quit watching the national news a few weeks ago, with the exception of some local news and an article here and there. It became too distracting. There is so much “noise” going on in the world, and a lot of it is negative. Sometimes I get distracted by positive “noise”, too. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in a fun activity, a productive project around the house, and become busy with good things. But if we lose sight of the important things:  our relationship with Jesus, teaching our children about Him, and showing others Jesus’ love, then we have missed what truly matters. To me, the price to pay for being distracted, whether by negative or positive activity, is much too high. The current situation in our country is proof of that. Proof that God has not been a priority for a very long time. My dream was a reality check to me to remember to drop some of the distractions- negative or positive- and prioritize the important things. The cost is too great if I don’t. The cost is too great if our country doesn’t. Luke 10:25-42 describes it beautifully….way better than I ever could. Few things are needed. I want to choose well.

Your friend,

Tiffany

I was taking a walk with my brother and mother last Saturday morning. There is a wooded walking track near my parents’ house. My right knee has been giving me some trouble so I couldn’t stay with the fast pace we were going. I told Daniel and Mama to go ahead so I wouldn’t slow them down. As I was walking, there was no one around and the woods were so still and quiet. Everything was so peaceful. The word gentle came to mind. I started thinking about verses from the Bible about gentleness.  Gentleness is something Jesus values. Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit. Gentleness helps a person find rest for their souls.

Matthew 29:11 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Titus 3:2 To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

James 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

Gentle is defined as having or showing a mild, kind, or tender temperament or character. Another definition is moderate in action, effect, or degree; not harsh or severe.

It is easy to lose our cool with those around us. I’m sure most of us can think of people we’ve been around who are not gentle! We’ve all gotten upset with our spouse or children at one point or another and reacted without gentleness. Tensions are probably higher than normal right now during the Covid-19 pandemic. It is easy to respond in a harsh, impatient way to people around us, especially when things are so tumultuous. Thankfully God knows we are human and far from perfect.

However, I want to be a person who responds with gentleness. How do people feel when they are around me? What words would they use to describe me? Would they say they feel refreshed or drained after being around me? My parents have a little plaque on a bookshelf that says “be a fountain, not a drain”. While no one is perfect, I hope no one leaves after being around me feeling drained! Striving to be refreshing to others is such an awesome goal to reach for! And if we can’t be refreshing, maybe at least responding to others with kind, gentle words and actions is a start.

Lord, help me respond to my family and friends with gentleness even if I’m tired or stressed. Help me to respond with gentleness even when others respond with harshness. Remind us to respond gently to others because when we do we are allowing Holy Spirit to work through us to minister to another person. Help us to come to you when we need rest for our souls so we can then be a conduit of your gentleness to others. Thank you for your gentleness with us. In Jesus name, Amen.

Your friend,

Tiffany